i turn my camera on

i'm so confused - is tonight opening night? is tomorrow opening day? it definitely feels like it, but technically it's neither, as we all know... whatever, i'm going to to stick with my man joe morgan, easily the most insightful, articulate and prepared tv analyst in the sport, who said on the espn telecast of the braves/nationals game, "i only recognize tonight. this is the opening of the baseball season in america," (thanks, Awful Announcing!). well then since the red sox aren't really 1-1 since joe morgan doesn't recognize japan (and why do i feel like he couldn't find it on a map either?), we'll treat tuesday night as the real, true, recognized opener and i will pontificate on the upcoming season (which didn't really start until this braves/nats game started - got it?)...

not too interested in making a whole truckload of predictions as it's the obvious, easy tack taken by every other baseball writer out there since the beginning of time... also, even though i read the sports illustrated baseball preview, there's no way i could possibly call what's going to happen in any of the non-al east divisions other than that the giants, padres, cardinals, pirates, reds, astros, marlins, nationals, a's, rangers, royals, twins and white sox all have no chance to win the world series... the orioles and rays have no chance either, though the rays appear to be on the upswing (and the o's, for a change, suck)... the blue jays aren't going to win it either, but i've definitely read a few people who seem to think they can somehow win the division... this would appear at first glance to be the severe head injury mode of thinking given that it's been 15 years since toronto was really any good and every year, something unforeseen happen to derail the train usually involving the pitching staff... also, they have new uniforms this year for at least the eighth time since joe carter hit that walkoff series winner against curt schilling's phillies... why do so many teams have to have so many uniforms? why can't they all just be like the sox and the (gulp) yankees? the biggest perpetrator of the too many uniform crime is probably the mets, who seem to have a different jersey to wear for each day of the week, home and away... i don't think there's really anything clever or funny to say about this as it's just distracting and annoying and reeks of ADD and should be outlawed at once...
but i digress... the blue jays latest new uniforms are lame but have nothing to do with why they will not win the al east... while the majority of the supposed pundits seem to like the sox - even most of the new york writers, according to gordon edes, enough folks like the blue jays to make me scratch my male-pattern balding head... as there have been for the past few years, there are injury concerns aplenty with the jays, starting with who else but a.j. burnett... burnett, who once threw a no-hitter for the marlins despite nine walks, who signed a 5-year, $55 million deal with the jays prior to 2006 yet has been on the dl four times already since then and missed time in the spring due to fingernail problems, is the key to the toronto staff and that could spell trouble... twice in nine years has he pitched 200 innings, once has he made 30 starts and never has he won more than 12 games (he's also never finished a season more than three games over .500)... why is there any reason to believe that anything will be different this season? and if it isn't, that puts even more pressure on roy halladay, staff ace, who is certainly one of the best pitchers in baseball but has had little to no support since his breakout season in 2002... there are young arms on the toronto staff who look promising but one - casey janssen - is already out for the year... the other starters, dustin mcgowan, shaun marcum and jesse litsch, ooze potential, but what does that mean? the blue jays also have a closer (b.j. ryan - what's with all these initial-named pitchers who can't stay healthy?) coming of major arm surgery who still isn't ready despite being on the shelf for nearly one calendar year, a center fielder (vernon wells) who is a supposed superstar but is coming off a miserable season that also happened to be the first of a huge new contract, a third baseman (scott rolen) who was the team's big acquisition in the off-season yet has been a shell of his former mvp-caliber self due to injuries for the past three years and is already out a month, and three other starters (frank thomas, shannon stewart and david eckstein) who are all on the other side of the hill... other than that, they look like champs-in-waiting...
now contrary to what all seven of you think, i didn't set out to write an anti-blue jays rant here (ok, maybe i did) - i just don't see how they can make the playoffs, especially out of the al east, unless everything breaks right and the sox and yankees each have major injuries all year... the jays have a lot of talent, some interesting pieces and a seemingly bright future, especially if halladay holds up and guys like aaron hill and alex rios continue to develop... but this year? not a chance! we'll get to see them this weekend when the sox hit skydome (it will always be skydome - not the rogers centre - in all its anachronistic glory) and those games won't mean much given how early it is... but down the road, when it gets hot and the games are more meaningful, toronto will undoubtedly take its rightful place - third...
so who does that leave? well the sox and yanks, naturally... both teams have questions, mostly based around (surprise!) pitching, though the sox lineup is far inferior to the yankees virtual all-star team... but i'm still going with the sox (again, surprise!) because for the yankees, in addition to having to worry about injuries (andy pettitte), old age (pettitte and mike mussina) and lack of balls (chien-ming wang), they also have to worry about lack of experience much more so than the sox, who may not have a more reliable rotation from top to bottom, certainly have the advantage as far as being there when it counts most... oh yeah, and they are also the defending champs and the yankees haven't won anything in nine years...

who knows, anyway? as i said before, predictions are easy and also riskier to make in baseball than in any other sport and for all i know toronto will win the world series thanks to the mvp-like performances of guys like a.j. burnett, b.j. ryan and vernon wells... we'll revisit in six months and if i'm wrong, i'll admit it - even though i won't be...

the act we act

the sun rises, the sun sets, lou gorman eats lunch and the sox are front-page, above-the-fold, 64-point font headline news... naturally, this being march and not june, august or october, it's for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with baseball...
it's too obvious to start this discussion with japan as it is currently next to impossible to last five minutes without seeing a photo or video of someone involved with the team bowing or wearing a kimono (hello!)... no, i want to start with the boycott thing from last wednesday because i'm wicked current and love writing about stories that broke five days ago and have likely been ingested and forgotten... well, except for people like wallace matthews, the yankees beat guy for newsday, who late last week wrote a column that may well have set a new standard for solipsistic self-righteousness... look, the team was looking out for their coaches and that's all it was... everyone knows that the role of the coach/manager/assistants is less important in baseball than in any other major sport but these guys know how important their staff is on a daily basis - drilling them, playing shrink, providing positivity and consistency... they live with these guys for almost eight months of the year and while the players are the ones making billions of dollars, some coaches are making less than a few bartenders i know... to be promised a $40,000 stipend and then have the promise revoked must have been unthinkable to a coach who barely clears that amount in yearly salary... whomever was at fault - the player's association, MLB - matters not... what matters is that the players, while openly acknowledging the fans who may have been forced to miss out, took a stand as a unit to ensure that their guys got what they were promised... contrary to what people like matthews - who listed the yearly salaries of several of the red sox highest paid players in his piece for no apparent reason - think, the threatened walkout had nothing to do with what the players make and completely to do with protecting the financial interest of those who make infinitely less than they... it was a strange, but ultimately satisfying move by the sox roster, who will never be accused of not being united on all fronts - not such a bad attribute...
and by the way, wallace - to compare the red sox trip to japan with the yankees' visit to virginia tech last week is irresponsible, self-serving and, quite frankly, stupid... of course the yankees did not take an appearance fee to visit the virginia tech campus and play an exhibition game there in the aftermath of last year's tragedy - the red sox, mariners, dodgers or toledo mudhens would not have either... so bearing that in mind, do you think the yankees didn't leverage themselves a crapload of money and perks when they opened the season against tampa in tokyo in 2004? do you think mike mussina, who is still complaining about that trip four years later, behaved honorably back then? (by the way, if anyone can direct me to a single complaint lodged by anyone invloved with the sox, who matthews calls "shameful" in his piece, please feel free to do so)... the japan trip and the virginia tech visit are apples and oranges, wallace... they couldn't be any more different... i'm just some scrubby local writer and i can see that - you are a columnist at a major, daily metro in the biggest media market in the world - that should be enough of a reason for you to get a clue...
and i'm spent - that took a little more out of me than i expected... well anyway, enjoy waking up at 6 a.m. the next couple days, sox fans - i know i will... gonna put together a quasi-season preview later in the week, so we'll see all six of you then - word!

sugar pill

so it's st. patrick's day, 2008, which seems like a good enough day to get back in the game, i think... so, in honor of the ncaa tournament, the sox impending title defense, the celtics pure awesomeness and the test said awesomeness is about to endure, the bruins falling apart like clockwork and the fact that i won't be ingesting a single drop of booze today on the biggest drinking day of the year, let's embark on the first set of rules of 2008, shall we?

Rule No. 1 - the ncaa tournament is the best sporting event of the year, every year... just watching some of the conference tourneys over the weekend reminded me (as if i needed to be reminded) that the intensity level, the passion and the will, no matter who is playing and how good the teams are is impossible to match... of course, the super bowl or a particularly good nba or mlb playoff game features much of the same, but those events involve professionals making millions and millions of dollars and as easy as it is to become emotionally invested in the players and the teams, you know somewhere in your head that they have a good chance to be back in a similar scenario somewhere down the road... most of the kids playing in these hyper-important college hoop games will never play organized basketball again once they graduate - to many of them, the endgame is right there in front of their faces... watching georgia and that big, slow kid named dave bliss manning the pivot yesterday, getting by less on athleticism and talent than on sheer force of will as he snatched rebounds from and blocked shots by arkansas players stronger, quicker and faster than he, basically putting his sub .500 team on his back for the fourth time in three days knowing all the while that a loss would mean the end, is what this time of the year is all about... and that was a silly conference tourney final... what will it be like for bliss and his boys on thursday when they're a 14-seed and have to play No. 3 xavier, a team some of the "experts" are picking to make it to the final four? i have no idea and that's the beautiful thing? no one knows a thing about which upsets are going to happen where and when, or what games will come down to a desperation heave or which team (if any) will pull a george mason from two years ago and beat the likes of michigan st., north carolina and connecticut and make the final four as an 11-seed? i can't wait to find out...
Rule No. 2 - It's way too early to predict what kind of season the red sox are going to have, which means that it's also way too early to worry about them... sure, when one of the most newsworthy items of spring training concerning your favorite team is the release of the backup catcher, things are likely just fine... but i haven't forgotten that we live in boston and that means people go bananas over beckett's back spasms or colon's getting bombed by the yankees in an exhibition game (by the way, is it too early to start referring to colon as el guapo II?)... look, other than feeling concern about waking up at 6 a.m. to watch "opening day" from tokyo next week, is there really anything to worry about right now? sure, the depth of the pitching staff might be a problem down the road, five hugely important guys (lowell, beckett, youk, okajima and papelbon) had career years last year, making the chances of them doing it again seem slim and there are a couple of other minor issues... but look at the positives: lugo, coco, manny, drew and dice-k were all down to varying degrees relative to their career numbers last year and the team still won the whole damn thing... plus, there's always papi, now healthier than ever and primed to do his thing, papi styles... and don't forget the manager, only the best man for the job this franchise has ever had, no matter what any morons on sportsradio say, and now being paid accordingly... there should be nothing but optimism right now, folks - and besides, who in the hell isn't psyched to hear jerry remy say matsuzakar and okajeemer direct from the press box of the tokyo dome?
Rule No. 3 - the celtics are awesome, there's no way around it... i've been as critical of the team and the coach and the GM as anyone over the last three years, but really, how can i possibly say anything negative now? it sure helps to have future hall-of-famers, all-stars, former all-stars, great, unselfish role players, experienced veteran bench guys, recent pickups with gigantic balls and amazing young talent at your disposal, isn't it? doc rivers looks like the coach of the year with this cast that soon-to-be executive of the year danny ainge has assembled, a statement i wouldn't have made at any point during his time here before now for fear of being institutionalized... ray allen out a couple games? so what? defending champion spurs up 20 in the first half at home? who cares? lose to utah at home by 18? blip on the screen... look, i'm not going to anoint the celtics as champs-to-be just yet - i still worry about detroit despite its penchant for thinking it can flip the switch at any moment and succeed (newsflash: it can't) because of the experience factor in the playoffs, and i worry perhaps even more about cleveland thanks to that pretty good guy they have who led his team of flotsam to the finals last year... that being said, if boston returns to the finals for the first time since 1987 and wins banner 17, i've reached the point where i won't be surprised in the slightest, a somewhat frightening thought, but at the same time, a rather comforting one...
Rule No. 4 - the bruins suck... don't let the possible playoff berth (which they are naturally trying their damndest to fritter away) fool you... i've said it before and i'll say it again - the boston bruins will never, ever win a stanley cup as long as jeremy jacobs owns the team and that's very sad considering how great a sport hockey can be and how much the team used to matter around here... so when they lose in five games to ottawa or montreal in the first round or don't make it at all, don't say i didn't warn ya...
Rule No. 5 - this blog is fuckin sweet and if anyone reading stays with me, you will see why... i'm through with these long, long stretches of not writing on here - i'm back and i'm in it for the long haul so i hope you visit me again - cheers!