one big holiday

made it to fenway wednesday night for the first time this year and even though the flu-ridden sox lost to the o.c. angels there were several times when a notepad and a pen would have come in very handy - luckily i had both... and given the fact that wasn't a typical april night at the ballpark, e.g. 40-something degrees and dropping with people everywhere crushing hot chocolates as opposed to watery beer, the experience was much more enjoyable - i'll bet all seven of you would be ok in an infield grandstand seat when its still 75 after the sun has set, no? good times were had by all, even the couple in front of us who were asked to move at least three times because they were occupying someone else's seats yet still managed to not have to leave the row... so let's get on with it then, yeah?

6:34 - relatively quiet on the T for rush hour on a game night, though getting on the red line in cambridge at this time vs. jumping a green line train bound for kenmore square at park street isn't exactly a fair comparison... very much looking forward to being knocked down by some goon in a papelbon jersey while simultaneously suffering a claustrophobia-induced panic attack in a few minutes... good times!

6:53 - arriving at kenmore 10 minutes before the first pitch is a nice sneak preview of going to grab a beer or hit the head at fenway: a crapload of people (one wearing a trot nixon jersey!!!) all fighting tooth and nail to get to the same place everyone else is going only without resorting to violence... not that i condone this sort of thing, but what would happen if say, the trot lover kicked the guy trying to squeeze past him on the staircase then laid a forearm shiver into the back of the dude in front of him who's not actually moving? would everyone just keep shuffling along? would there be a full-scale, every man for himself riot in which pink hat wearing fans started wildly swinging their studded purses and nine-year olds broke free from their parents and began biting? does anyone think of this stuff but me?
(by the way, we're getting there at the time when the scalpers are starting to get that "uh-oh" look in their eyes... at least they have a celtics playoff game to work in an hour before heading off to "scalpers night" at the glass slipper...)

7:08 - through the turnstiles, into the beer line, six pitches into the game and the angels lead 1-0... i understand that jon lester took a hit by voluntarily pitching on short rest because dice-k came down with the fenway flu, that the angels are very good and that it's just one run... but no matter how hard i try to convince myself, the guy just doesn't inspire a lot of confidence... i grant him the benefit of the doubt in that he's still very young and had his development hindered due to his illness last season and i want very much to like him not just because of his comeback from the cancer ordeal but because he has loads of potential and is going to be counted on to be a big part of this team for years, but he always seems to pitch just well enough to lose... don't think i buy the assertion that he could be another andy pettitte, a) because pettitte was much better already at a similar stage of his career, b) because even when he was young, pettitte was a prototypical crafty lefty whereas lester seems stuck between being a power guy and a finesse guy and c) because lester isn't friends with roger clemens and doesn't do steroids...

7:33 - no place where you can get wicked, bordering on inappropriately close to complete strangers (and benjah) than the grandstands at fenway...

7:37 - i may have hallucinated this, but it appears there are now beer vendors at fenway... people coming to your seats with beer at the ballpark instead of fans having to miss 2-3 inning stretches of games due to having to get up and wait in line has been such a foreign concept for me for so long that i haven't quite known what to do when one strolls past my seat in places like wrigley field and shea stadium... thankfully, i won't have to face such circumstances as they seem to be patrolling only the high-roller sections near the field - ah progress...

7:52 - in two innings, julio lugo has made two great defensive plays and driven in the first sox run with a ringing base hit up the middle... he's smack in the middle of an impressive hitting streak at this point, averaging something in the .450 range over a 10 or 11-game stretch... now before anyone thinks julio might be growing on me, i might as well mention that in the top of the third, he drops a routine popup... even when the guy is going well he still manages to suck... the red sox have had some limp shortstops in my time, but i can't think of any who made complete sucktitude look as easy and routine as julio... with julio, booting ground balls right at him, grounding into key double plays and generally looking like he has no clue looks like an art form - i sometimes imagine ted williams' hitting prowess being akin to julio's sucking prowess... oh and did i mention that the sox still owe him two years and $18 million after this season?

7:54 - at least six of the people sitting near me think julio's not that bad... i probably wouldn't either if this was little league and everyone else on the team also couldn't hit or catch or throw...

8:01 - lester celebrates the sox cutting a run off of the angels' lead by giving it right back on a base hit to someone named eric aybar, who appears to be even smaller than dustin pedroia... in the fifth, not quite half an hour later and approximately 54 seconds after the sox cut the l.a. lead again, he serves up a mammoth homer to gary matthews, jr., matthews' second of the evening... lester isn't pitching that badly... he's also not pitching that well... this is a recording...

*on a totally unrelated note, there is a fan at this game wearing a t-shirt that says "balls models" which of course is the name of the modeling agency in "zoolander" run by maury ballstein... if the sox had hit seven consecutive home runs at some point during the game, this t-shirt still would have been the coolest thing i saw all night...

8:43 - scoreboard says the celtics are lighting up the hawks down the street at the fleetcenter in game 2... everyone raise a $7.25 cup of bud light to the celts...

8:51 - big papi turns on a jon garland meatball and crushes a homer into the 10th row of the bleachers next to the visitors' bullpen in right... it's not terribly timely to say this in the aftermath of his 0-for-6 on friday night against tampa and subsequent two-game respite, but i think the guy is coming around... look, it's obvious he's not fully healthy, that his knee has not completely recovered from the surgery he had in the winter... i think that as long as this post-surgery pain lasts, he will not be the big papi we're used to at all... but even if that lasts all season, he is such a great hitter that he will learn how to make the proper adjustments and still be able to be all-star level productive... it's already happening - the dismal 3-for-43 start was symbolic of his learning how to deal with the discomfort and react at the plate accordingly... now that he's started to get it, he's hitting homers and driving in runs at a much more papi-esque pace (he hit another absolute bomb the next afternoon)... here's hoping that this break he's on doesn't last much longer...

9:12 - the return of craig hansen, who looks much more like the tough, intimidating guy he was purported to be when drafted than the scared, absolutely no confidence looking kid he's been since two summers ago... he gives up a solo homer to casey kotchman in the sixth (more unfortunately, just minutes after papi's homer tied the game) but he's looked mean and nasty, working quickly, challenging guys and snapping off sliders the way he's always been expected to... i'm fairly certain theo and his peeps share this sentiment but given how (sigh) mediocre the sox pen has looked thus far, it sure would be nice if hansen is able to cultivate this new persona and help out by summertime...

9:26 - j.d. drew ends the seventh by grounding into a 4-6-3 double play... i'm not going to rag on drew because of how money he was last fall when it really mattered and because he got off to a reasonable start this year relative to last... but i will say that it felt as predictable as the sun coming up...

9:45 - mike timlin comes in and gives up an insurance run... feels lousy to be down on timlin after what he's done the last five years but let's face it - he's 75 years old! sooner or later, someone might want to inform him and the sox of this...

9:55 - jed lowrie - who looks like a player - bounces into a double play to end it... as mostly negative as the tone of this little diary is, it's only because of the outcome of this particular game and not because i feel particularly down on the team... the current losing streak isn't quite at the alarming stage with the pitching being as good as it has (clay buchholz has silly good stuff) and half the team being hurt or sick, not to mention the fact that the (devil) rays are actually decent this year... naturally, there are things that they need, but it's so early, they have ample time to get them...

and the negativity also has nothing to do with the night at the ballpark which, as usual, despite the crowds and the prices and some of the accommodations being more suited to 1912 than 2008, was absolutely awesome... there may be more bandwagon jumpers than ever these days, but it still felt like the crowd was on every pitch, reacting to each morsel of the game... the weather was so awesome it felt like midsummer in april... the atmosphere was perfect and even though the game ended in a loss pretty much everyone around us seemed to share the proper perspective on the state of things (except for the fellow who called sportsradio the next day and ripped francona for using lester even though he volunteered and the sox only other option was julian tavarez for the fourth time in five games)... maybe if was 40-something degrees and dropping with people everywhere crushing hot chocolates as opposed to watery beer, it would have been a bummer - but i doubt it...

we live again

a day late on this but i needed to put it out there that the bruins - yes, the bruins - must be commended and applauded for their performance against montreal in the playoffs, which came to a disappointing end on monday night... as anyone who knows me is aware, i hate the bruins, less because of anyone actually on the team or behind the bench and more because of the way the ownership and front office skinflinted the team into mediocrity throughout my formative sports watching years while showing no commitment to anything except selling hot dogs and $8 sodas in plastic yellow souvenir cups... well, i rooted for them and heartily so through the series against the habs mostly because they had no business doing anything but getting swept due to the complete and total mismatch in talent and class, yet they displayed more heart and grit and determination than i thought was possible and it was those three characteristics that allowed them to make it to the verge of a huge upset... although they didn't finish the job, they deserve so much credit for putting themselves in position to do it... i know it's a bit odd to be backslapping anyone after a first-round playoff loss, especially here in championship-ville, but the bruins pulled a lot of people out of the woodwork with their play over the past couple weeks and maybe, just maybe, made pro hockey a relevant activity around here again... we won't know more until the fall when the new season starts - which means that the powers that be have not quite six months to sabotage everything, AGAIN... but for now, it's safe to say congrats, b's - didn't know you had it in you...

oh and by the way, since this wouldn't be a post on this site without at least a little teasing of the spoked B, i give you this photo - thanks to awful announcing for bringing it to my attention... and also - to the imbecile who called sportsradio yesterday and proclaimed he was, "disgusted," with the bruins on monday night because they, "lost their heart," let me remind you, smartguy, that if it weren't for their heart, they never would have been there to disgust you in the first place... their heart is what carried them to the brink of a gigantic series win... good to know that the first time i listen in weeks, i hear the same style brain surgeons still patrolling the airwaves - what a comfort...

you're the good things

finally... dunno know about all four of you, but for me, waiting for the celtics playoff run to start has been arduous to say the least - it hasn't just been the past six months of regular season time killing, it's been roughly three years, or the last time the celts played a meaningful springtime game... and how can you not eat it all up? my first favorite team is an absolute, nationwide darling, getting the kind of press and love that is routinely reserved for teams like the lakers and spurs and suns... everyone - more or less - loves them to sweep atlanta starting tonight, then slightly sweat out the cleveland/washington winner before dispatching the flip-switching pistons en route to a dream, '80s-style title bout with the lakers (accordingly, that's exactly how i have it in my nba.com playoff pool bracket)...

anyway, now that i've gotten the prediction part out of the way, i need to take a moment to reflect on all this attention being showered upon the celts... i think the first time i saw the new gatorade commercial - the one where kg is deified as power ranger warrior who sweats sugary sports drink - it really hit me just how important and significant this team is... there's no way that the hype machine has exploded over the celtics the way it is now since those golden-hued days of the mid-80s, when larry bird ruled this town... when the celts made it to the eastern conference finals under jim o'brien before antoine walker put on 50 pounds back in 2002, it was fun and exciting and all, but no one really gave them much credit thanks to the presence of jason kidd in his prime on the other side of the series, the presence of shaq, kobe and phil jackson in pursuit of a three-peat on the other coast, and the fact that kenny anderson was the celtics point guard, tony battie manned the paint and vitaly potapenko was the team's third highest paid player... that series was pretty much a lost cause even though the celts were on the winning end of the biggest comeback in nba playoff history in game 3... the celtics played a pretty ugly style due to their personnel (your basic run down the floor and shoot a three-pointer regardless of game situation, shot clock or any other variable sort of thing)... there was a feeling of inevitability about that team - it was great to feel excitement about them after so long, especially so soon after the rick pitino debacle... but everyone knew that even though they made it farther than anyone not seriously disturbed could have fathomed, it was only a matter of time before the ride came to an end... the evidence was in the coverage - can anyone name a single commercial/tv spot/iota of publicity surrounding that team? except for antoine's adidas, "employee no. 8" ("i make baskets") ads, which i think arrived well before that season, i certainly can't... the celtics made it all the way the the nba's final four in 2002, yet still seemed to be the mystery guest that no one really wanted to sit next to at the table...

which leads us to this season which, the 2005 campaign notwithstanding, is the first time anyone has ascribed any playoff expectations to the celtics since before the original big three were gray and old... of course this has been a foregone conclusion ever since july 31, 2007 - the day kg arrived... now we have commercials and billboards and interviews and espn sunday conversations everywhere we look, a set of circumstances that has been the norm all year long... 38-year old sam cassell joins the ranks and has 73 articles written about him in a month... big baby davis gets a mohawk and its the lead item in a newspaper notebook... leon powe goes from being the last guy on the bench to the sixth man and has tommy heinsohn refer to him as a superior offensive force... big papi, dustin pedroia and mike lowell sit courtside for an 8:30 p.m. playoff game even though they have to be at fenway at 7 a.m. the next day due to marathon monday... and of course, pierce, garnett and allen rule the world...

over the past seven years, as the patriots have risen to the top of the ranks and the red sox have shed their demons to become the best and most popular team in baseball, it's felt at least slightly bittersweet due to the celtics being a step or two behind... now that they enter the playoffs carrying a similar cache (can't quite call it the same cache until they win) all feels right with the world... sure, we won't know the outcome for another couple of months and as talented as the celtics are, a lot will need to go their way for a 17th banner to be raised... but it's just the feeling, the genuine anticipation of something great being so close that's what's so cool... it could happen again, for the first time in 22 years... and it says here, it will.

parting of the sensory

i'm so taken aback from seeing curtis leskanic, dave mccarty and brian daubach (brian daubach??!!) represent the 2004 world champs and BILL BUCKNER getting a standing ovation and crying on the fenway mound that i've decided my only recourse is to provide you, fair reader(s) with a spring-infused set of rules - so here goes...

Rule No. 1 - about 10 days until the nba playoffs and yes, the celtics are still the best team in the league... i've occasionally worried throughout the season that what was going on around the garden was all a dream and that one morning i'd wake up and the celtics would be 24-53 again and any publicly aired scuttlebutt would again revolve around the chances of getting the first pick in the draft, whether or not al jefferson was capable of growing up to be an elite big guy and what the odds were on paul pierce walking into the locker room one night with a 12-gauge shotgun and opening fire... thankfully it's all real and with the first-round matchup with the sub-.500 hawks looming, it's almost time to really begin to assess whether or not this team can do something amazing... i'm still of the mind the toughest task facing them is detroit (cleveland and lebron's bad back are no longer in the conversation), though the pistons are currently operating in neutral, doling out frequent nights off to certain guys and losing at home to the ungodly knicks... i wonder if it's wise to push my luck given all of this sweetness that's been going on since the day of the garnett deal, but i am hoping for a couple of things: 1) that they don't just beat detroit, they punish them - the pistons' cool arrogance, their misguided, collective belief that they can flip the switch whenever, wherever and against whomever they want and succeed really bugs me - luckily this attitude has failed them miserably in the playoffs the past two seasons, 2) that sam cassell does something really important at some point, not to justify his signing (although he has not appeared to fit very well since he arrived) but because he has already authored a few big playoff moments in his career and to see him dial up another while wearing celtic green would be outstanding, and 3) that if they get to the finals, they play the lakers - anyone over the age of 30 who grew up here and says that matchup wouldn't be the epitome of appointment viewing has obviously been smoking crack... oh and also, my new favorite non-big 3 player is leon powe, or, as kg referred to him when he first got here, "security"... not only is leon a classic overachiever but he's always working, making things happen for the team and himself and just basically being the kind of guy you'd hope every bargain, young reserve could be... i'll probably delve more deeply into the celts when the playoffs actually arrive, but it's certainly safe to say today that they're a big-time favorite...

Rule No. 2 - tough to have any real feel for the sox yet, eh? eight games and a 457,000-mile road trip will do that to ya... easy to see thus far that a couple of guys not named papelbon or okajeemer need to step up in the bullpen (not so sure about david aardvark and brian "skeletor" corey, though again, it's just been eight games)... also, dice-k has been truly awesome save for the first two innings in tokyo - if he pitches close to this for the better part of the year, he'll win 18-20 games and earn the right to be known as a co-ace... all he needs to work on right now is that mullet - i felt like it was the 1989 home opener watching him out there today and accordingly, i put on some parachute pants during the third inning... i find it difficult to believe that big papi will hit .103 with an ops under .500 all season or that world series mvp mike lowell will go much longer without a single rbi (though he will not duplicate last year's numbers by a long shot - mark it, dude)... all we really know right now, after eight whole games, is that the orioles and current league mvp front-runners aubrey huff and luke scott will not win the al east, the tigers will win a game sooner or later (and probably still contend for the al central) and that bill buckner is not such a bad guy after all... he probably never was despite his portrayal as the spawn of hell for the past 20+ years for having the temerity to make an error on a grounder when his knees were so shot, he shouldn't have even been on the field... i was pretty fed up with the ceremony (it all seemed slightly clumsy, no?) before buckner's entrance thanks in no part to the presence of daubach, a former replacement player, a self-made first baseman and all-around good guy who had some nice moments for the sox from 2000-2002 but was nowhere near the 2004 series (unless he was in the stands, as st. louis isn't far from his hometown of belleville, il) and hadn't been seen by sox fans since the entire tampa bay team tried to behead him in that beanball game back in 2000 when pedro drilled the leadoff guy (i believe it was gerald "ice" williams, referred to as a "punk" by that master of charisma and personality dan duquette) and then threw a no-hitter for 8.2 innings... don't want to get all over the dauber though - it wasn't his fault that the disciples of dr. charles steinberg in the pr department invited him to the party... no, the buckner thing erased pretty much all of the oddness that happened prior and was really quite touching, especially when he had to wipe away a tear during the ovation he received while standing on the mound... give the sox a lot of credit for that one - now can we please stop with all of these extracurricular things and just play? oh and by the way, sox staff - please don't ever show tom werner and wally dancing together ever again ever, please? if neil diamond really is coming here to sing "sweet caroline" this summer, werner and wally shaking it needs to be banned, along with that sparkly, sequined sox jacket neil was wearing - i beg all of these things of you, please...

Rule No. 3 - if anyone hanging around a major league ballpark needs steroids these days it's steven tyler... seriously, when did he have a sex change operation? i know aerosmith hasn't done anything good in at least 20 years but really, man...

Rule No. 4 - the nhl playoffs start tomorrow and the bruins are in - i know this only because of kevin dupont's full-page preview in the paper... apparently the b's are playing arch nemesis montreal which has only beaten them all eight times the teams met this season and something like 11 or 12 straight since last year... i also heard that the night after the bruins clinched, all they had to do to avoid the eighth seed and a first-round series against the canadiens was win their final regular season game against the golf course bound sabres... like all bruins teams we know and love, they instead chose to play the "happy to be here" card and subsequently rolled over and got shut out, assuring them a meeting with likely the only team in the east that they can't beat... i sure will be glad when there's more space for baseball, basketball and pretty much anything other than bruins news in the paper in about a week or so... at least the powers that be are guaranteed two more nights of beer and hot dog sales...

Rule No. 5 - it's masters time which doesn't just mean another season of losing major tournament bets is upon me, it means that watching golf on tv is about to become appointment-worthy for the weekend... i'm fascinated to to see tiger play, as always, especially because of all the grand slam talk swirling about... every year during masters week, the topic of tiger and his capability of winning all four majors comes up - only this year given that he's been playing better than at any time in his career other than in the summer of 2000... look, i'm not going to pick against the guy - in fact, he's probably going to win for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that all the other players are so scared of him - but as great as he is, can anyone really be expected to win every major in one year? even the greatest player of all time? so much goes into every one of them, from the course to the conditions - the biggest reason tiger lost to zach johnson (??!!) last year... if he does it, i won't be surprised, not in the slightest... but i think i need to see it to believe it's actually possible...

Rule No. 6 - it's supposed to be 70 degrees tomorrow so i'm going to have my own little masters and hit up fresh pond for the second consecutive day... like what would happen if i played in any real tournament let alone the masters, the string will stop at two consecutive days since i could never make the cut, even if i was wearing mitt romney's magic underpants... but really, who cares? it's golf, man, for the second straight day in early APRIL... and that's a beautiful, beautiful thing...

new english

really did mean what i said about multiple uniforms and the blue jays and the blue jays' multiple uniforms... but what they rolled out in their home opener against the sox last night earns them a shred of respect from their most outspoken critic - me... yeah, sure, they look like pajamas, but i'll be damned if they aren't some of the coolest pajamas i've ever seen...

oh and by the way, it's nice to see that someone at the mothership is not just reading this outstanding, finger-on-the-pulse-of-everything blog, but following my lead as well...

i turn my camera on

i'm so confused - is tonight opening night? is tomorrow opening day? it definitely feels like it, but technically it's neither, as we all know... whatever, i'm going to to stick with my man joe morgan, easily the most insightful, articulate and prepared tv analyst in the sport, who said on the espn telecast of the braves/nationals game, "i only recognize tonight. this is the opening of the baseball season in america," (thanks, Awful Announcing!). well then since the red sox aren't really 1-1 since joe morgan doesn't recognize japan (and why do i feel like he couldn't find it on a map either?), we'll treat tuesday night as the real, true, recognized opener and i will pontificate on the upcoming season (which didn't really start until this braves/nats game started - got it?)...

not too interested in making a whole truckload of predictions as it's the obvious, easy tack taken by every other baseball writer out there since the beginning of time... also, even though i read the sports illustrated baseball preview, there's no way i could possibly call what's going to happen in any of the non-al east divisions other than that the giants, padres, cardinals, pirates, reds, astros, marlins, nationals, a's, rangers, royals, twins and white sox all have no chance to win the world series... the orioles and rays have no chance either, though the rays appear to be on the upswing (and the o's, for a change, suck)... the blue jays aren't going to win it either, but i've definitely read a few people who seem to think they can somehow win the division... this would appear at first glance to be the severe head injury mode of thinking given that it's been 15 years since toronto was really any good and every year, something unforeseen happen to derail the train usually involving the pitching staff... also, they have new uniforms this year for at least the eighth time since joe carter hit that walkoff series winner against curt schilling's phillies... why do so many teams have to have so many uniforms? why can't they all just be like the sox and the (gulp) yankees? the biggest perpetrator of the too many uniform crime is probably the mets, who seem to have a different jersey to wear for each day of the week, home and away... i don't think there's really anything clever or funny to say about this as it's just distracting and annoying and reeks of ADD and should be outlawed at once...
but i digress... the blue jays latest new uniforms are lame but have nothing to do with why they will not win the al east... while the majority of the supposed pundits seem to like the sox - even most of the new york writers, according to gordon edes, enough folks like the blue jays to make me scratch my male-pattern balding head... as there have been for the past few years, there are injury concerns aplenty with the jays, starting with who else but a.j. burnett... burnett, who once threw a no-hitter for the marlins despite nine walks, who signed a 5-year, $55 million deal with the jays prior to 2006 yet has been on the dl four times already since then and missed time in the spring due to fingernail problems, is the key to the toronto staff and that could spell trouble... twice in nine years has he pitched 200 innings, once has he made 30 starts and never has he won more than 12 games (he's also never finished a season more than three games over .500)... why is there any reason to believe that anything will be different this season? and if it isn't, that puts even more pressure on roy halladay, staff ace, who is certainly one of the best pitchers in baseball but has had little to no support since his breakout season in 2002... there are young arms on the toronto staff who look promising but one - casey janssen - is already out for the year... the other starters, dustin mcgowan, shaun marcum and jesse litsch, ooze potential, but what does that mean? the blue jays also have a closer (b.j. ryan - what's with all these initial-named pitchers who can't stay healthy?) coming of major arm surgery who still isn't ready despite being on the shelf for nearly one calendar year, a center fielder (vernon wells) who is a supposed superstar but is coming off a miserable season that also happened to be the first of a huge new contract, a third baseman (scott rolen) who was the team's big acquisition in the off-season yet has been a shell of his former mvp-caliber self due to injuries for the past three years and is already out a month, and three other starters (frank thomas, shannon stewart and david eckstein) who are all on the other side of the hill... other than that, they look like champs-in-waiting...
now contrary to what all seven of you think, i didn't set out to write an anti-blue jays rant here (ok, maybe i did) - i just don't see how they can make the playoffs, especially out of the al east, unless everything breaks right and the sox and yankees each have major injuries all year... the jays have a lot of talent, some interesting pieces and a seemingly bright future, especially if halladay holds up and guys like aaron hill and alex rios continue to develop... but this year? not a chance! we'll get to see them this weekend when the sox hit skydome (it will always be skydome - not the rogers centre - in all its anachronistic glory) and those games won't mean much given how early it is... but down the road, when it gets hot and the games are more meaningful, toronto will undoubtedly take its rightful place - third...
so who does that leave? well the sox and yanks, naturally... both teams have questions, mostly based around (surprise!) pitching, though the sox lineup is far inferior to the yankees virtual all-star team... but i'm still going with the sox (again, surprise!) because for the yankees, in addition to having to worry about injuries (andy pettitte), old age (pettitte and mike mussina) and lack of balls (chien-ming wang), they also have to worry about lack of experience much more so than the sox, who may not have a more reliable rotation from top to bottom, certainly have the advantage as far as being there when it counts most... oh yeah, and they are also the defending champs and the yankees haven't won anything in nine years...

who knows, anyway? as i said before, predictions are easy and also riskier to make in baseball than in any other sport and for all i know toronto will win the world series thanks to the mvp-like performances of guys like a.j. burnett, b.j. ryan and vernon wells... we'll revisit in six months and if i'm wrong, i'll admit it - even though i won't be...

the act we act

the sun rises, the sun sets, lou gorman eats lunch and the sox are front-page, above-the-fold, 64-point font headline news... naturally, this being march and not june, august or october, it's for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with baseball...
it's too obvious to start this discussion with japan as it is currently next to impossible to last five minutes without seeing a photo or video of someone involved with the team bowing or wearing a kimono (hello!)... no, i want to start with the boycott thing from last wednesday because i'm wicked current and love writing about stories that broke five days ago and have likely been ingested and forgotten... well, except for people like wallace matthews, the yankees beat guy for newsday, who late last week wrote a column that may well have set a new standard for solipsistic self-righteousness... look, the team was looking out for their coaches and that's all it was... everyone knows that the role of the coach/manager/assistants is less important in baseball than in any other major sport but these guys know how important their staff is on a daily basis - drilling them, playing shrink, providing positivity and consistency... they live with these guys for almost eight months of the year and while the players are the ones making billions of dollars, some coaches are making less than a few bartenders i know... to be promised a $40,000 stipend and then have the promise revoked must have been unthinkable to a coach who barely clears that amount in yearly salary... whomever was at fault - the player's association, MLB - matters not... what matters is that the players, while openly acknowledging the fans who may have been forced to miss out, took a stand as a unit to ensure that their guys got what they were promised... contrary to what people like matthews - who listed the yearly salaries of several of the red sox highest paid players in his piece for no apparent reason - think, the threatened walkout had nothing to do with what the players make and completely to do with protecting the financial interest of those who make infinitely less than they... it was a strange, but ultimately satisfying move by the sox roster, who will never be accused of not being united on all fronts - not such a bad attribute...
and by the way, wallace - to compare the red sox trip to japan with the yankees' visit to virginia tech last week is irresponsible, self-serving and, quite frankly, stupid... of course the yankees did not take an appearance fee to visit the virginia tech campus and play an exhibition game there in the aftermath of last year's tragedy - the red sox, mariners, dodgers or toledo mudhens would not have either... so bearing that in mind, do you think the yankees didn't leverage themselves a crapload of money and perks when they opened the season against tampa in tokyo in 2004? do you think mike mussina, who is still complaining about that trip four years later, behaved honorably back then? (by the way, if anyone can direct me to a single complaint lodged by anyone invloved with the sox, who matthews calls "shameful" in his piece, please feel free to do so)... the japan trip and the virginia tech visit are apples and oranges, wallace... they couldn't be any more different... i'm just some scrubby local writer and i can see that - you are a columnist at a major, daily metro in the biggest media market in the world - that should be enough of a reason for you to get a clue...
and i'm spent - that took a little more out of me than i expected... well anyway, enjoy waking up at 6 a.m. the next couple days, sox fans - i know i will... gonna put together a quasi-season preview later in the week, so we'll see all six of you then - word!

sugar pill

so it's st. patrick's day, 2008, which seems like a good enough day to get back in the game, i think... so, in honor of the ncaa tournament, the sox impending title defense, the celtics pure awesomeness and the test said awesomeness is about to endure, the bruins falling apart like clockwork and the fact that i won't be ingesting a single drop of booze today on the biggest drinking day of the year, let's embark on the first set of rules of 2008, shall we?

Rule No. 1 - the ncaa tournament is the best sporting event of the year, every year... just watching some of the conference tourneys over the weekend reminded me (as if i needed to be reminded) that the intensity level, the passion and the will, no matter who is playing and how good the teams are is impossible to match... of course, the super bowl or a particularly good nba or mlb playoff game features much of the same, but those events involve professionals making millions and millions of dollars and as easy as it is to become emotionally invested in the players and the teams, you know somewhere in your head that they have a good chance to be back in a similar scenario somewhere down the road... most of the kids playing in these hyper-important college hoop games will never play organized basketball again once they graduate - to many of them, the endgame is right there in front of their faces... watching georgia and that big, slow kid named dave bliss manning the pivot yesterday, getting by less on athleticism and talent than on sheer force of will as he snatched rebounds from and blocked shots by arkansas players stronger, quicker and faster than he, basically putting his sub .500 team on his back for the fourth time in three days knowing all the while that a loss would mean the end, is what this time of the year is all about... and that was a silly conference tourney final... what will it be like for bliss and his boys on thursday when they're a 14-seed and have to play No. 3 xavier, a team some of the "experts" are picking to make it to the final four? i have no idea and that's the beautiful thing? no one knows a thing about which upsets are going to happen where and when, or what games will come down to a desperation heave or which team (if any) will pull a george mason from two years ago and beat the likes of michigan st., north carolina and connecticut and make the final four as an 11-seed? i can't wait to find out...
Rule No. 2 - It's way too early to predict what kind of season the red sox are going to have, which means that it's also way too early to worry about them... sure, when one of the most newsworthy items of spring training concerning your favorite team is the release of the backup catcher, things are likely just fine... but i haven't forgotten that we live in boston and that means people go bananas over beckett's back spasms or colon's getting bombed by the yankees in an exhibition game (by the way, is it too early to start referring to colon as el guapo II?)... look, other than feeling concern about waking up at 6 a.m. to watch "opening day" from tokyo next week, is there really anything to worry about right now? sure, the depth of the pitching staff might be a problem down the road, five hugely important guys (lowell, beckett, youk, okajima and papelbon) had career years last year, making the chances of them doing it again seem slim and there are a couple of other minor issues... but look at the positives: lugo, coco, manny, drew and dice-k were all down to varying degrees relative to their career numbers last year and the team still won the whole damn thing... plus, there's always papi, now healthier than ever and primed to do his thing, papi styles... and don't forget the manager, only the best man for the job this franchise has ever had, no matter what any morons on sportsradio say, and now being paid accordingly... there should be nothing but optimism right now, folks - and besides, who in the hell isn't psyched to hear jerry remy say matsuzakar and okajeemer direct from the press box of the tokyo dome?
Rule No. 3 - the celtics are awesome, there's no way around it... i've been as critical of the team and the coach and the GM as anyone over the last three years, but really, how can i possibly say anything negative now? it sure helps to have future hall-of-famers, all-stars, former all-stars, great, unselfish role players, experienced veteran bench guys, recent pickups with gigantic balls and amazing young talent at your disposal, isn't it? doc rivers looks like the coach of the year with this cast that soon-to-be executive of the year danny ainge has assembled, a statement i wouldn't have made at any point during his time here before now for fear of being institutionalized... ray allen out a couple games? so what? defending champion spurs up 20 in the first half at home? who cares? lose to utah at home by 18? blip on the screen... look, i'm not going to anoint the celtics as champs-to-be just yet - i still worry about detroit despite its penchant for thinking it can flip the switch at any moment and succeed (newsflash: it can't) because of the experience factor in the playoffs, and i worry perhaps even more about cleveland thanks to that pretty good guy they have who led his team of flotsam to the finals last year... that being said, if boston returns to the finals for the first time since 1987 and wins banner 17, i've reached the point where i won't be surprised in the slightest, a somewhat frightening thought, but at the same time, a rather comforting one...
Rule No. 4 - the bruins suck... don't let the possible playoff berth (which they are naturally trying their damndest to fritter away) fool you... i've said it before and i'll say it again - the boston bruins will never, ever win a stanley cup as long as jeremy jacobs owns the team and that's very sad considering how great a sport hockey can be and how much the team used to matter around here... so when they lose in five games to ottawa or montreal in the first round or don't make it at all, don't say i didn't warn ya...
Rule No. 5 - this blog is fuckin sweet and if anyone reading stays with me, you will see why... i'm through with these long, long stretches of not writing on here - i'm back and i'm in it for the long haul so i hope you visit me again - cheers!

spilled milk factory

ok, so who's worried? admittedly, it settles the nerves somewhat to see our boys put up five runs in the first two innings against their nemesis scott kazmir, especially with bobby kielty batting third and kevin "tango and" cash behind the plate (though there was that comforting air of familiarity when j.d. drew and his 45 rbis grounded to second with the bases loaded to end the second inning rally)... but the same problems that have been plaguing this team since the beginning of june when they began this nearly three-month run of mediocrity, still plague them today... there is no consistent clutch hitting, last week's couple of late-inning comebacks and tonight's big first two innings notwithstanding... their two big free agents, counted on so much from the moment they signed, continue to be two of the biggest busts in recent memory... their middle of the order, while slightly more productive than say, a month ago, is still not nearly the mortal lock it once was... and now we can add a french-canadian relief pitcher, heralded as the last piece to the world series puzzle upon his arrival, being completely useless, himself single-handedly responsible for three games in the standings over the last 10 days (not to mention the fact that according to my buddy benjah, his roots as a Quebecois naturally make him a savage, not to be tamed by anyone)...

oh i've been paying attention... just because i haven't brightened up your lives with a column for a couple weeks doesn't mean i've lost track of the team... so bearing that in mind, i'm here to report to anyone who will listen that everything is going to be fine... don't get me wrong - things certainly feel ominous, especially with the yankees not slowing down despite their schedule toughening from the tray of cupcakes they feasted on for the first couple of weeks following the all-star break... and the two series the sox and yanks have left, beginning with the three-game set in new york next week, suddenly appear to be crucial whereas a month ago they seemed to be a formality... but it's all good, and for that, we have the denizens of baltimore and tampa, also known as red sox nation south and red sox nation further south...

now the yankees have to play the orioles and the devil dogs as well, but they also have to play the angels and tigers on the road, the mariners and the blue jays, who give them fits... plus, despite last weekend's debacle at camden yards (which would have been a three-game sweep if not for the afore-mentioned, french-canadian savage), the sox play the o's (and tampa) better than they play anyone... two more series with baltimore and three (the current one included) with tamper means nine or 10 wins for the red sox... in fact, with this series going on right now followed by four games in chicago against the putrid white sox while the yankees are in anaheim tonight and detroit over the weekend, the lead may be a lot more comfortable by the time the first pitch is thrown in the bronx next tuesday...

honestly, a lot of things have to go right for the above scenario to play out... but bearing that in mind, the red sox sure do have things lined up well for the coming week... if they have a six or seven game lead by the time the yankee series rolls around, i think even the most irrational, crackheaded worriers (like the guy who called sportsradio today to proclaim that with doug mirabelli disabled, tim wakefield should be taken out of the rotation - just hours before wake pitched seven shutout, four-hit innings to cash) will have to take a deep breath and kick back - for a few days at least...

ok before i go, there are just a few other quickies i want to discuss:

- if this is how drew is going to perform for the remainder of his five years here, how long will it take before he is dumped, a la edgar renteria, with the sox picking up most of his salary for him to play elsewhere? another year? a half a season? and can anyone even imagine the collective feeling of suck if he comes to the plate in a crucial situation in a playoff game?

- i'm not as down on julio lugo as i once was, but i still can't figure out why theo epstein loves him so much... he obviously isn't as bad as he looked in june during his infamous 0-for-3,546... but he's really not very good, as his inability to consistently field ground balls hit right to him will attest... and also, why does he feel like backing out of the box without time having been called, just in time for the pitcher to throw an 86 mph fastball right down the pipe for a strike so much?

- that guy who said wakefield should be benched without his binky dougie to guide him despite his unbelievable career numbers against tampa (he's still undefeated at the trop) may be the same stooge who thinks francona should be fired for changing the lineup from time to time and knows "people in baseball" who think he's a laughingstock... i don't listen to nearly as much sportsradio as i used to, but i must be blessed considering i seemingly hear this genius every time i turn it on... he is so dumb, he makes fred smerlas and steve deossie sound like MIT astrophysicists...

- fearless prediction No. 1: asante samuel will report to pats camp (without a new contract) by the end of next week and not miss a game this year... i know it means fall is here, but i so can't wait for the NFL...

- apologies to those who have already heard me tell this doozy, but now that he's going to jail, will michael vick learn to like it doggystyle?

- it's all over down in tamper with the sox beginning their huge, 10-game road trip with a 6-0 win... and to make it even more satisfying, remy and orsillo had a seemingly game-long giggle fit about a mouse running around in the booth that scared the shit out of orsillo... it's really going to suck, as it always does, when we are subjected to the likes of chris berman, joe morgan and tim mccarver come playoff time...

- why is rob zombie's "halloween" remake coming out on aug. 31? shouldn't it come out, oh i don't know, maybe some time around halloween? and while we're at it, why is there a rob zombie remake of "halloween" anyway?

- fearless prediction No. 2: i will make the playoffs in all three of my fantasy football leagues and win the super bowl in at least one of them... why? because i fuckin rule, that's why...

thanks for reading - another new column coming sometime later in the week...

merchants of soul

i don't know where to begin... to say that the events of the last two days have been enough to make a person's head spin would be an understatement to the utmost... i guess that even though we're in the midst of baseball season and approaching the stretch run, the red sox getting eric gagne, the best relief pitcher in baseball for a stretch earlier this decade, to support their suddenly shaky bullpen is not the biggest headline... nope, it's the celtics - the celtics - making the most noise, and in the middle of the summer no less... i guess when you make the biggest trade in the history of your league, you get dibs...

i know i complained about the celtics trying to trade for kevin garnett earlier this summer when the rumor first came to light... and when the idea was reintroduced a couple of days ago, i scorned it again, not believing that trading five players and two draft picks for one guy ever, no matter who that guy is, could be deemed good business... then i watched the press conference this afternoon - ok, i've been convinced... now before i go any further, i'd like to note that a) the celtics are not winning the championship this year, b) if they don't fill out the roster with a couple other veteran, role-type guys, they will still be hard pressed to do too much damage in the playoffs, c) if any of the trio of pierce, allen and garnett get hurt and misses any significant time, the celts are toast and d) it may all not matter anyway if the head coach doesn't step up in a way he's yet to thus far during his tenure... there, now that the negatory stuff is out of the way, let's get to the positive... it's KG, people! one of the greatest players of the past 20 years is now a celtic! sure, he's about three years older than we'd like and yes, he's never won anything despite his immense talent and i know,thanks to the extension he signed, he'll still be here making $17 million in five years when he can't move anymore... but the prospect of having three star veterans, all great players in their own right, all of whom have never had teammates this good and this hungry and all of whom would sell their left nut for a chance to win after so many dismal, meaningless years of losing, is more than enticing, it's genuinely exciting... and when was the last time the celtics were genuinely exciting? two years ago when they got antoine walker back, won six in a row and made us poor saps believe they could actually do some playoff damage? nope... in 2002-2003 when it was pierce, antoine and a bunch of scrubs shooting 52 3-pointer's per game? nope... go all the way back to the 80s if you want to see a celtics team that stoked such excitement, such anticipation - and these guys haven't even played a game yet... part of the beauty of the deal is the fact that all three of them can kill another team in a different way - garnett down low, pierce taking the ball to the basket and allen shooting 3's... further, all three of them are so desperate to be good that there won't be any reason to worry about anyone stepping on anyone else's toes... those youngsters who are left from the roster purge - all three of them - will only benefit from having such skill and leadership all around them...and while it's sad to see al jefferson and ryan gomes go (so much more al than gomes), pierce is right when he says that you need veterans to win in this league and without making this deal, the celtics would be a low playoff seed in a bad conference which may be better than they were but wouldn't be any more than mediocre and barely relevant... there's still work to be done... but damn is this going to be interesting - and fun, too... and if you don't believe that, just look one more time at that photo up there...

it's funny, but the red sox appeared to be a bit of an afterthought today, at least until they lost to the lowly orioles while the yankees were slicing the lead back down to seven... but what they did was pretty amazing too... they got the best relief pitcher available - and one who had a no-trade clause to boston and was insisting on being a closer wherever he went - for a No. 4 starter, a fourth outfielder and a 16-year old kid... the fact that the yankees weren't even in the mix is stunning in itself, but the fact that sox, now needing bullpen help more than ever, could get such an important guy for so little is astounding... and while gagne will be gone after the year and kason gabbard certainly has the make-up to be a legit winner in the big leagues, if you have a really good team, a team that could potentially win, you have to do what you can to make it better - as long as it's within reason... as badly as the red sox need another bat right now - and tonight's game, papi's resurgence notwithstanding, was irrevocable evidence that they do, and fast - trading wily mo pena and two from the group of manny delcarmen, craig hansen and justin masterson to the white sox is not within reason... offensively, the red sox need to hope that manny stays hot, papi can finish the year, lowell and youkilis don't disappear in the second half as has been their proverbial custom, and that j.d. drew will wake up from his coma and do something, anything... a waiver deal for another bat would sure be nice too... but this isn't time to complain, it's time to exhale... the red sox had arguably the best bullpen in baseball before this deal - now, there's no argument...

oh yeah, the patriots are five days into training camp and the first preseason game is just over a week away - and, i'm spent...