from what i hear, you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fuckin boat
it's time for your favorite segment, kids... the knucklehead of the day!!!
on this glorious knucklehead day, we're going to change things up just a touch... instead of naming nominees, we're just going to give out the frickin thing right off the bat because this week, we have two knuckleheads whose actions have earned each of them status in the pantheon of knuckleheadedness, and will be recognized as such...
first winner is onterrio smith, running back for the minnesota vikings... onterrio was a nominee last week due to his unfortunate run-in with airport security over possession of the now world famous whizzinator... well today, our man was informed that he will be suspended by the nfl for the entire upcoming season due to his third positive drug test... this guy has to have set some sort of land speed record for stupidity with this one... see, he didn't show up for a scheduled drug test and in the nfl, not showing up is the same thing as testing positive... perhaps he didn't know this rather important piece of 411, which in itself is ridiculous, but it goes even further... not showing up tells me that he knew he'd fail anyway, which means that he made a decision on some conscious level to say F this and keep getting reefed, thereby screwing his team out of his talent and himself out of a couple million bucks... it's people like onterrio who make certain tree stumps look like nobel prize winners...
onterrio's compadre is kellen winslow II, tight end for the cleveland browns... kellen found out today that he has a torn acl in his knee and will miss the entire season because he was trying to do jumps and wheelies on his kawasaki special in some parking lot... this guy, who in the past has publicly anointed himself a "soldier," a "warrior," and "the chosen one," due to his immeasurable talent, tried the crotch rocket stunts even though a) he missed 14 games last season as a rookie due to a knee injury and b) has specific language in his contract noting that injuries caused by motorcycle accidents could give the team the right to take away some of his signing bonus money... what makes kellen's behavior even more knuckleheaded is the fact that his father, kellen I, is in the hall of fame, perhaps the best tight end in nfl history and was a modicum of class and dignity as a player... maybe kellen II was sick the day they taught common sense at the university of football...er, i mean miami... one thing i will say in favor of kellen II - he may be an idiot, but he's just the most recent in a long, distinguished line of idiots who played for the hurricanes... you're not alone in the miami chapter of the knucklehead club, kellen!!
one more quick thing, y'all... if you like baseball and you like star wars, even just a little, you should read this... you'll get a chuckle for sure... enjoy your weekends... lates.
on this glorious knucklehead day, we're going to change things up just a touch... instead of naming nominees, we're just going to give out the frickin thing right off the bat because this week, we have two knuckleheads whose actions have earned each of them status in the pantheon of knuckleheadedness, and will be recognized as such...
first winner is onterrio smith, running back for the minnesota vikings... onterrio was a nominee last week due to his unfortunate run-in with airport security over possession of the now world famous whizzinator... well today, our man was informed that he will be suspended by the nfl for the entire upcoming season due to his third positive drug test... this guy has to have set some sort of land speed record for stupidity with this one... see, he didn't show up for a scheduled drug test and in the nfl, not showing up is the same thing as testing positive... perhaps he didn't know this rather important piece of 411, which in itself is ridiculous, but it goes even further... not showing up tells me that he knew he'd fail anyway, which means that he made a decision on some conscious level to say F this and keep getting reefed, thereby screwing his team out of his talent and himself out of a couple million bucks... it's people like onterrio who make certain tree stumps look like nobel prize winners...
onterrio's compadre is kellen winslow II, tight end for the cleveland browns... kellen found out today that he has a torn acl in his knee and will miss the entire season because he was trying to do jumps and wheelies on his kawasaki special in some parking lot... this guy, who in the past has publicly anointed himself a "soldier," a "warrior," and "the chosen one," due to his immeasurable talent, tried the crotch rocket stunts even though a) he missed 14 games last season as a rookie due to a knee injury and b) has specific language in his contract noting that injuries caused by motorcycle accidents could give the team the right to take away some of his signing bonus money... what makes kellen's behavior even more knuckleheaded is the fact that his father, kellen I, is in the hall of fame, perhaps the best tight end in nfl history and was a modicum of class and dignity as a player... maybe kellen II was sick the day they taught common sense at the university of football...er, i mean miami... one thing i will say in favor of kellen II - he may be an idiot, but he's just the most recent in a long, distinguished line of idiots who played for the hurricanes... you're not alone in the miami chapter of the knucklehead club, kellen!!
one more quick thing, y'all... if you like baseball and you like star wars, even just a little, you should read this... you'll get a chuckle for sure... enjoy your weekends... lates.
posted by jmg at 1:33 AM
1 Comments:
that article with the whole star wars vs baseball thing was pritty funny. i really dont have a say in the whole red sox yankees business but yeah it was pritty funny :)
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