i have a trig midterm tomorrow and i'm being chased by guido the killer pimp
so i could discuss the suddenly resurgent sox or the more-boring-than-tom cruise-nba finals or even how the hot, sweltering weather makes me feel...
but fuck all that - i have a plan, dammit... recently, hbo has featured a movie caled "the girl next door" in heavy rotation on all its channels... well, i had remembered hearing about it when it was in theatres and being somewhat intrigued by the premise so i watched it the other night... and you know what? it sucked, and i loved it...
which brings me to my point - how does a good, bad movie happen anyway? for the most part, its just a freak occurrence since most movies are either good, bad or even worse - decent but instantly forgettable... they're rarely completely awful but still a lot of fun, ya know? and the whole thing's got me thinkin...
so this movie "the girl next door" had to have been a disaster from the minute they started shooting it... it's biggest problem is that it wants more than anything in the world to be a new "risky business" for whatever letter labeled generation we're in now... this means that everything that happens from the opening frames is completely derivative, which equates to all of the filmmakers having neither a shred of credibility or originality in their entire bodies...
there's the lead kid - the bookish, nerdy guy with the bookish nerdy friends, who's going to georgetown if he wins a scholarship (not unlike acing the princeton interview in "risky business") and has never had one iota of fun in his life until his big interview/important scholrship dinner when he runs a whorehouse/trips out on ecstacy... there's the lead girl - here a porn star instead of a hooker - who falls in love with him, gets him to loosen up, is blonde and just looks generally scorchingly hot on all occasions... there's even guido the pimp, here a porn "producer" who is very protective of lead girl...
it goes on... there are the clueless parents, the evil faculty, the money-making scheme involving the other hookers/porn stars and so forth... the score even sounds eerily like the risky score at critical moments...
yet there's no edge, no balls, and worst of all, no courage of its convictions... "risky business" examined prostitution from a detatched stance, giving us characters who were hookers and pimps, but so what? it did not even remotely judge any of its characters on the basis of what they did, it simply watched them exist... there was no moralizing or glamorization at all...
"the girl next door" sensationalizes porn and the industry but backs off when it comes to the lead girl, who just wants to be loved and is miserable and horrified by her profession... basically, it's a teen movie with an R-rating, like "she's all that" or "cruel intentions" with boobs... every other porn star, director or producer in the movie is having the time of their life, except for her... the filmmakers just don't get that you can't have it both ways... even the big sex scene at the end has been totally sanitized for the viewing pleasure of the several million 15-year-olds in iowa or missouri who snuck in... in "risky business", they do it on an L car in chicago while tangerine dream's score plays - it's a terrific, sexy scene... in "the girl next door" they do it in the back of a limo after the prom while some david gray song that i heard in a jc penney jewelry commercial a couple weeks ago plays... it bears more resemblence to something you might see in an episode of "7th heaven" than in one of the seminal movies of the 80s.
but i loved it... even though i'd seen them all before, the characters were interesting because of the way they were played... the lead kid, an actor named emile hirsch, was totally natural and funny and carried the movie... the producer was timothy olyphant, who plays the sheriff in "deadwood" and was the drug dealer in "go"... he's incredible, totally stealing every scene he's in and being hilarious then freaky/sketchy from one minute to the next...
the girl is named elisha cuthbert... i remember her from a small role in "old school" (luke wilson's one night stand) and i think she's on the tv show "24" which i've never seen... but this shit has to put her in a new dimension, not because of her acting, although she deserves credit for actually kind of seeming like a real porn star a few times, but because of her presence... elisha immediately enters the pantheon of most ridiculously, stunningly, amazingly, gorgeously hot women in the movies... shit, i might even see that horror movie she has out with paris hilton just to get another look at her... the bottom line is that now she has an honest to goodness future as mrs. jmg...
it's also funny, mostly thanks to the producer and the kid who plays the lead's porn-obsessed friend... and the soundtrack, although it features tons of songs heard before in better movies (eliot smith's "angeles" from "good will hunting," satchel's "suffering" from "beautiful girls," bowie and queen's "under pressure" from you name it and filter's "take a picture," from that hp printer commercial, etc.) is top-notch (it even makes good use of the who's "baba o'riley" and echo and the bunnymen's "the killing moon")...
man, this is long - i need an editor (i'll accept applications starting now)... i guess my point is that every time i see a movie that i know is terrible and love it anyway, i can't figure it out, so writing about this particular instance might help... it's so infrequent, i think the last time it happened was 3 years ago with "gangs of new york," a martin scorsese movie that was was one of the biggest messes i've ever seen but totally knocked me out anyway...
it's all gotta be based on our own inner, subjective viewpoint, ya know? maybe if the actors had been different or the character of the friend not so funny, i just would have seen it for all its flaws and hated it... but who knows? maybe i don't even have a point... yeah, that's probably it... you know what? forget it... if you haven't already...
but see "the girl next door," if for no other reason than for elisha... man, is she a burner... lates.
but fuck all that - i have a plan, dammit... recently, hbo has featured a movie caled "the girl next door" in heavy rotation on all its channels... well, i had remembered hearing about it when it was in theatres and being somewhat intrigued by the premise so i watched it the other night... and you know what? it sucked, and i loved it...
which brings me to my point - how does a good, bad movie happen anyway? for the most part, its just a freak occurrence since most movies are either good, bad or even worse - decent but instantly forgettable... they're rarely completely awful but still a lot of fun, ya know? and the whole thing's got me thinkin...
so this movie "the girl next door" had to have been a disaster from the minute they started shooting it... it's biggest problem is that it wants more than anything in the world to be a new "risky business" for whatever letter labeled generation we're in now... this means that everything that happens from the opening frames is completely derivative, which equates to all of the filmmakers having neither a shred of credibility or originality in their entire bodies...
there's the lead kid - the bookish, nerdy guy with the bookish nerdy friends, who's going to georgetown if he wins a scholarship (not unlike acing the princeton interview in "risky business") and has never had one iota of fun in his life until his big interview/important scholrship dinner when he runs a whorehouse/trips out on ecstacy... there's the lead girl - here a porn star instead of a hooker - who falls in love with him, gets him to loosen up, is blonde and just looks generally scorchingly hot on all occasions... there's even guido the pimp, here a porn "producer" who is very protective of lead girl...
it goes on... there are the clueless parents, the evil faculty, the money-making scheme involving the other hookers/porn stars and so forth... the score even sounds eerily like the risky score at critical moments...
yet there's no edge, no balls, and worst of all, no courage of its convictions... "risky business" examined prostitution from a detatched stance, giving us characters who were hookers and pimps, but so what? it did not even remotely judge any of its characters on the basis of what they did, it simply watched them exist... there was no moralizing or glamorization at all...
"the girl next door" sensationalizes porn and the industry but backs off when it comes to the lead girl, who just wants to be loved and is miserable and horrified by her profession... basically, it's a teen movie with an R-rating, like "she's all that" or "cruel intentions" with boobs... every other porn star, director or producer in the movie is having the time of their life, except for her... the filmmakers just don't get that you can't have it both ways... even the big sex scene at the end has been totally sanitized for the viewing pleasure of the several million 15-year-olds in iowa or missouri who snuck in... in "risky business", they do it on an L car in chicago while tangerine dream's score plays - it's a terrific, sexy scene... in "the girl next door" they do it in the back of a limo after the prom while some david gray song that i heard in a jc penney jewelry commercial a couple weeks ago plays... it bears more resemblence to something you might see in an episode of "7th heaven" than in one of the seminal movies of the 80s.
but i loved it... even though i'd seen them all before, the characters were interesting because of the way they were played... the lead kid, an actor named emile hirsch, was totally natural and funny and carried the movie... the producer was timothy olyphant, who plays the sheriff in "deadwood" and was the drug dealer in "go"... he's incredible, totally stealing every scene he's in and being hilarious then freaky/sketchy from one minute to the next...
the girl is named elisha cuthbert... i remember her from a small role in "old school" (luke wilson's one night stand) and i think she's on the tv show "24" which i've never seen... but this shit has to put her in a new dimension, not because of her acting, although she deserves credit for actually kind of seeming like a real porn star a few times, but because of her presence... elisha immediately enters the pantheon of most ridiculously, stunningly, amazingly, gorgeously hot women in the movies... shit, i might even see that horror movie she has out with paris hilton just to get another look at her... the bottom line is that now she has an honest to goodness future as mrs. jmg...
it's also funny, mostly thanks to the producer and the kid who plays the lead's porn-obsessed friend... and the soundtrack, although it features tons of songs heard before in better movies (eliot smith's "angeles" from "good will hunting," satchel's "suffering" from "beautiful girls," bowie and queen's "under pressure" from you name it and filter's "take a picture," from that hp printer commercial, etc.) is top-notch (it even makes good use of the who's "baba o'riley" and echo and the bunnymen's "the killing moon")...
man, this is long - i need an editor (i'll accept applications starting now)... i guess my point is that every time i see a movie that i know is terrible and love it anyway, i can't figure it out, so writing about this particular instance might help... it's so infrequent, i think the last time it happened was 3 years ago with "gangs of new york," a martin scorsese movie that was was one of the biggest messes i've ever seen but totally knocked me out anyway...
it's all gotta be based on our own inner, subjective viewpoint, ya know? maybe if the actors had been different or the character of the friend not so funny, i just would have seen it for all its flaws and hated it... but who knows? maybe i don't even have a point... yeah, that's probably it... you know what? forget it... if you haven't already...
but see "the girl next door," if for no other reason than for elisha... man, is she a burner... lates.
posted by jmg at 12:59 AM
3 Comments:
sooo funny dude. curtis and i rented that movie a couple months ago. and all though it was a little on the very far from realistic side we couldnt shut it off. i think it just had to do with the fact that curtis didnt want to shut the hottie off, along with her other hottie friends in the movie lol. but yeah dude i totally see what your entry was saying today. sweet. :) and yes she was in 24 thats the only way i knew who she was. but shes not in it anymore, what does that say about her?
i did see her on a late nite talk show though not too long ago and she seemed to be pritty kool and down to earth. even reminded me of a friend of mine that i use to chill with back in the day. weird.
hey jmg! jerry & i have been obsessed with "24" this year, it's been like my part-time job to watch weekend/weeknight/whenever-it-arrives-in-the-mail marathons of it for the past 4 months since jerry "discovered" it...if you pick it up man, you won't put it down! we've now moved onto the harry potter series of books...really, the addictive personality just shows up wherever it can, ya know? this is the first time i read your site, i like the stream-of-consciousness...
:) danielle
Post a Comment
<< Home