merchants of soul

i don't know where to begin... to say that the events of the last two days have been enough to make a person's head spin would be an understatement to the utmost... i guess that even though we're in the midst of baseball season and approaching the stretch run, the red sox getting eric gagne, the best relief pitcher in baseball for a stretch earlier this decade, to support their suddenly shaky bullpen is not the biggest headline... nope, it's the celtics - the celtics - making the most noise, and in the middle of the summer no less... i guess when you make the biggest trade in the history of your league, you get dibs...

i know i complained about the celtics trying to trade for kevin garnett earlier this summer when the rumor first came to light... and when the idea was reintroduced a couple of days ago, i scorned it again, not believing that trading five players and two draft picks for one guy ever, no matter who that guy is, could be deemed good business... then i watched the press conference this afternoon - ok, i've been convinced... now before i go any further, i'd like to note that a) the celtics are not winning the championship this year, b) if they don't fill out the roster with a couple other veteran, role-type guys, they will still be hard pressed to do too much damage in the playoffs, c) if any of the trio of pierce, allen and garnett get hurt and misses any significant time, the celts are toast and d) it may all not matter anyway if the head coach doesn't step up in a way he's yet to thus far during his tenure... there, now that the negatory stuff is out of the way, let's get to the positive... it's KG, people! one of the greatest players of the past 20 years is now a celtic! sure, he's about three years older than we'd like and yes, he's never won anything despite his immense talent and i know,thanks to the extension he signed, he'll still be here making $17 million in five years when he can't move anymore... but the prospect of having three star veterans, all great players in their own right, all of whom have never had teammates this good and this hungry and all of whom would sell their left nut for a chance to win after so many dismal, meaningless years of losing, is more than enticing, it's genuinely exciting... and when was the last time the celtics were genuinely exciting? two years ago when they got antoine walker back, won six in a row and made us poor saps believe they could actually do some playoff damage? nope... in 2002-2003 when it was pierce, antoine and a bunch of scrubs shooting 52 3-pointer's per game? nope... go all the way back to the 80s if you want to see a celtics team that stoked such excitement, such anticipation - and these guys haven't even played a game yet... part of the beauty of the deal is the fact that all three of them can kill another team in a different way - garnett down low, pierce taking the ball to the basket and allen shooting 3's... further, all three of them are so desperate to be good that there won't be any reason to worry about anyone stepping on anyone else's toes... those youngsters who are left from the roster purge - all three of them - will only benefit from having such skill and leadership all around them...and while it's sad to see al jefferson and ryan gomes go (so much more al than gomes), pierce is right when he says that you need veterans to win in this league and without making this deal, the celtics would be a low playoff seed in a bad conference which may be better than they were but wouldn't be any more than mediocre and barely relevant... there's still work to be done... but damn is this going to be interesting - and fun, too... and if you don't believe that, just look one more time at that photo up there...

it's funny, but the red sox appeared to be a bit of an afterthought today, at least until they lost to the lowly orioles while the yankees were slicing the lead back down to seven... but what they did was pretty amazing too... they got the best relief pitcher available - and one who had a no-trade clause to boston and was insisting on being a closer wherever he went - for a No. 4 starter, a fourth outfielder and a 16-year old kid... the fact that the yankees weren't even in the mix is stunning in itself, but the fact that sox, now needing bullpen help more than ever, could get such an important guy for so little is astounding... and while gagne will be gone after the year and kason gabbard certainly has the make-up to be a legit winner in the big leagues, if you have a really good team, a team that could potentially win, you have to do what you can to make it better - as long as it's within reason... as badly as the red sox need another bat right now - and tonight's game, papi's resurgence notwithstanding, was irrevocable evidence that they do, and fast - trading wily mo pena and two from the group of manny delcarmen, craig hansen and justin masterson to the white sox is not within reason... offensively, the red sox need to hope that manny stays hot, papi can finish the year, lowell and youkilis don't disappear in the second half as has been their proverbial custom, and that j.d. drew will wake up from his coma and do something, anything... a waiver deal for another bat would sure be nice too... but this isn't time to complain, it's time to exhale... the red sox had arguably the best bullpen in baseball before this deal - now, there's no argument...

oh yeah, the patriots are five days into training camp and the first preseason game is just over a week away - and, i'm spent...

o fortune, how you mock me...

ok, i'm back from a work-related swamping and i have a lot on my mind... apologies in advance to my buddy sheriff for the fact that there could be a lot more negatory here than not... and by the way, isn't that headline classic?

- has anyone seen manny? when he's not playing a really deep shortstop at fenway, he's holding up the entire red sox offense... i'm aware of the fact that he's been hot lately and is showing signs of being the manny we all know and love with the way he's been crushing line drives the other way lately... still, he's not close to on pace for his usual .310/35/110-type season - in fact it looks like he won't get close... and for all the debate about why the sox are having so much trouble scoring runs lately and why they've been so piss-poor in one-run games, the answer is pretty simple: it's manny, who, as estimable globe baseball writer gordon edes pointed out recently, has a lower OPS than dustin pedroia... yes, the facts that j.d. drew and julio lugo have both been awful (though lugo finally has started to do something), that it took coco two months to get going and that big papi has a torn meniscus are all important, palpable reasons for the mediocre offensive numbers since june 1, the fact that manny is having a similar season to guys like jose guillen or jacque jones is key to understanding the conundrum... when manny doesn't hit, ortiz gets pitched around and that sets off a chain reaction throughout the whole lineup... the bottom line is, if manny doesn't start being manny, the offensive struggles are going to continue and that will only put more pressure on a pitching staff that has looked far more mortal in recent weeks... not that i'm worried or anything...

- by the way, i heard my buddy from last week on the radio again today - you know, the one who knows all the "baseball people," who "laugh" at francona for not using the same lineup every day? he naturally took the sky-is-falling approach to the fact that the sox got crushed by the kansas city boils last night while the yankees were winning again and subsequently cutting the division lead to eight games by saying something like that if the sox lose three of four to the white sox this weekend and the yankees keep winning, it will be a full-on pennant race, yet screaming bloody murder whenever the poor hosts tried to tell him that things could just as easily go in the opposite direction... i don't like sportsradio nearly as much as i used to, mostly because i'm older and the sound of grown men screaming at each other hurts my ears... but it's guys like my loud-mouthed pal from today and last week who keep me coming back for more... don't underestimate the power of pure, unadulterated stupidity to provide a good, hearty laugh...

- as we close in on patriots training camp, there seems to be some sentiment that the team not signing asante samuel to a long-term deal and the possibility that he may hold out in response is a catastrophic thing... well, folks, i'm here to bring you in off the ledge... it's not that big a deal... first of all, he's not going to hold out a) because he's not dumb enough to leave $7.8 million guaranteed on the table, b) because he will leave himself more vulnerable to injury which could crush his chances to get a mega-contract from anyone next year and c) because he has to know that if he plays and plays even close to as well as he played last year for a team that could very well win another super bowl, he will increase his chances of cashing in down the road... there's a guy at a certain bar i've been known to frequent who loves to have me educate him about the pats and recently he was telling me that it would be a huge mistake for the team to not sign samuel for whatever he wants and that not having him next year would be a huge blow... this is so wrong for so many reasons that i don't know where to start... first off, in the brady/belichick era, the team has given in to exactly two, count 'em, two guys - brady and richard seymour... they don't pay anyone, ever, and all it has gotten them is three titles, two other playoff appearances and a league-wide reputation as a top-notch, one-of-a-kind organization... remember three years ago when samuel was a rookie and he and randall gay were the starting corners with troy brown their chief backup? well, they won the super bowl that year and that was with a team that was not nearly as stacked from a talent perspective as this team would appear to be... not having samuel would be a bummer but does anyone who has watched the team at all for the past six years really think it would be a season-breaker? remember last year when they wouldn't pay deion branch and their top two receivers were bug-eye caldwell and jabar gaffney (who they signed off the street halfway through the year)? well, they missed going to another super bowl by 2 minutes with that crew... as long as brady and seymour (to a much lesser extent) are there, everything will be fine, with or without samuel, branch, willie mcginest, damien woody, lawyer milloy, ty law, or anyone else they've said goodbye to as opposed to paying them like stars... the quarterback and the team are the stars in foxboro and it's worked out just great thus far...

- there's probably a lot to be written/said about the michael vick story, but i'm not interested in any of it - a person so despicable doesn't deserve my time or yours... if he's proven innocent, i will gladly take back such a damning statement, but until then, he's officially entered the pantheon of biggest douchebags in sports... at least we won't have to read/listen to all the suckups rave about how he's one of the greatest players in the history of the nfl just because he can run fast and throw a ball 80 yards in the air while standing still with no one near him... before yesterday's indictment, he was simply the most overrated player in the league... now he's the most disgusting, overrated player in the league...

-the british open starts tomorrow for all you golf fans out there... it's the least accessible of the majors because it's on tv at the break of dawn and because there just aren't a lot of courses in this country where the average duffer (like me) can experience the kind of hideous conditions they routinely get on the scottish coast... but that's what makes it so cool as well... watching someone like tiger woods try to conquer 40 mile per hour wind gusts, rain falling sideways, pot bunkers, mounds of gorse and even english cuisine (not remotely joking about that last one - ever had a meal in the u.k.?) is watching him in the most hostile of hostile environments... major golf tournaments always wind up being a mind game - whoever has the mental wherewithal to persevere is likely going to beat whoever does not (hello, lefty!)... so when you add the kind of elements that a place like st. andrews, royal lytham or this week's site, carnoustie, offer up, it appears that much more difficult... i can't wait to watch - and by the way, i got tiger over the field...

- it was somewhat eye-opening to read this story about yao ming and how the chinese government is ripping him for not being at national team practice because he had the temerity to get married and visit a bunch of special olympics kids... made me feel pretty good about where i am... but then i saw this and remembered that while we don't have it that bad, it's getting worse every day - and it's not even war-related... it's all about the cash money, right bushy?

- loving the new records by interpol and spoon... interpol, a band i've always liked, but thought took themselves way too seriously, have really lightened up on their new one, "our love to admire"... takes a couple songs to get going but by the fourth and fifth tracks, "the heinrich maneuver," and "mammoth," they're rocking out and sound more like they're just having fun being rock stars and less like they have to convey some deep, emotional need to anyone... spoon is just spoon, making their way through your basic rock/rootsy/alt-country stuff with a lot of whimsy and bells and whistles on the unfortunately titled "ga ga ga ga ga"... i was recently accused of forgetting from whence i came given my aversion to buying the new records from (the artist formerly known as) chris cornell and smashing pumpkins... on the contrary - i remember whole-heartedly from whence i came given the fact that i still routinely listen to the great stuff those guys recorded when they were meaningful and interesting and not so played out and old... i've not forgotten anything, i just think i've adapted to the times and the two records i just mentioned are prime examples of that...

- good to see the old, shitty julian tavarez back - gotta love that he can't hold a two-run lead against the boils... luckily kason gabbard is on his way to the hall of fame so that should solve that problem...

- golfing in the morning - ah, heaven awaits...

rules of the week

we may well be immersed in the lamest week of the most boring month on the sporting calendar, but finding something about which to write under such circumstances is easy pickin'... log onto to any site (espn, fox, SI) or go to any major metro paper and you'll find dozens upon dozens of pieces that guys in my chosen profession keep in their top desk drawers all year, every year, only to pull them out this week, do a bit of polishing, and voila! - instant column... i'm talking about the old standby, the mid-season awards/report card column, in which the writer gives every player on the team he/she covers a letter grade, or, on the national scale, guys like jayson stark and ken rosenthal and jon heyman hand out awards for performances given so far... it's so easy, so effortless, so time-efficient... it would be that simple for me to sit here and write that so far this year, j.d. drew gets a C-, youk and okajeemer get straight A's and lugo gets an F... easy, easy, easy... so bearing that in mind, i'm going to buck the trend and write a traditional rules column, consequences be damned... so without further ado, here are the rules of the week...

Rule No. 1 - if you're whining/bitching/complaining/calling the radio to whine, bitch or complain about the red sox, please stop, like now... today i actually heard someone call WEEI and rip terry francona for not using the same lineup every day... his logic, though he wouldn't confirm this when pressed by the hosts, was that even though lugo sucks and needed to be moved from the leadoff spot, coco needed to be hitting near the bottom for the first two months and being moved to the top appeared to at least slightly invigorate the seemingly pulseless drew, it didn't matter and they'd all have come around and been fine and be ahead by 30 games instead of 10 if they'd been left alone and subsequently not had to worry about where they'd be hitting on any given day... when dale arnold correctly informed this astrophysicist that thus far, francona is the manager of the year in the AL (hands down, i might add), the guy laughed out loud and wondered how anyone could make such a claim regarding a guy who is "laughed at by other baseball people," for not providing consistency in the lineup (i'll ignore almost all of the ludicrousness of such a statement except for the part about these so-called laughing baseball people - does this guy know a lot of current or former ballplayers? do they hang out drinking bud light drafts with him at fitzy's tap in lynn on a monday afternoon at 1?)... look, the point is not to trash this moron, who can't seem to grasp the fact that the baseball season lasts six months and every decision/action/reaction is exponentially less important than would be during, say, a 16-week football season, but to state as clearly as possible that things are ok with the sox, they really are... in fact, things are better than ok, things are pretty damn good... for a team with their apparent problems (little punch from the middle of the lineup, a horrible leadoff hitter, lousy free agent signings on offense, no discernible trustworthy guys in the bullpen after papelbon and okajima - though manny delcarmen seems to be coming along nicely), they sure have played pretty well... a piece - or two - may well need to be added in the coming weeks, and even though they can likely play .500 the rest of the year and still make the playoffs, it would be nice, not to mention confidence inspiring, to see them perform a little better and with some more consistency... that being said, who's going to challenge them? the yankees and their woeful pitching/comatose manager (it was excellent to see joe torre use scott proctor, currently on pace for about 752 appearances, for an inning yesterday in the midst of a 12-0 win...)? the blue jays and their ongoing inferiority complex? the orioles and their complete and total lack of the slightest idea how to build and maintain a team? the devil rays and their recent 11-game losing streak? no, no, no and no... so sit back and relax, sox nation... don't get complacent, don't lose your fire and don't stop caring... but please, please stop complaining - it's embarrassing...

Rule No. 2 - because this wouldn't be the world famous RTLB site if i didn't get just a bit cynical, i will say that even though he's better now than he was a couple months ago, i have absolutely no confidence that drew will do something when at the plate in a key situation... when he fouled out with the tying run 90 feet away yesterday, my initial reaction was that i would have been shocked if he had gotten a hit... even sox broadcaster joe castiglione, whose despair when sox hitters don't come through in the clutch is palpable ("swing and a pop-up), sounded less saddened than he did outraged when drew's weak swing ended the game, and that's saying something for the even-keeled joe... so what do the sox do? well, they continue to wait him out... nothing, with the exception of figuring out why david ortiz is suddenly no longer a power hitter, is truly urgent at this stage (see above)... but just the same, the sox better hope he soon starts doing a little better than .225 with runners in scoring position... they can't use him in the leadoff spot too much, a) because coco and/or lugo if/when he gets right has to hit there and b) they are paying him his, ahem, exorbitant salary to hit fifth and protect manny and papi... i'm not going to give up on drew at this point and not just because we're stuck with him for five more years (unless his arm magically separates from his shoulder socket)... i think that sooner or later this year and during other, more regular intervals over the course of his contract, he will produce big-time and help the team win... i can, however, see what got people going about his demeanor in the other cities in which he's played... the guy's so smooth, both at the plate (even when he's grounding out to second) and in the field (the play he made to hold tampa's carl crawford to a single at the game i went to on the fourth was an outstanding defensive play), that it's understandable to assume he isn't busting it the way he should be... everything looks so easy for him that he appears the same when he's crushing a double into the right-center field gap as when he's fouling out to third to end a game... still, i wonder whether or not his immense talent has hindered him at all throughout his career... i'm sure he knows better than anyone how talented he is and how easily the game comes to him... and bearing that in mind, who's to say that such knowledge hasn't kept him from working as hard as he possibly can to become great? for such a skilled player, drew is as far from a great player as it gets... i'm not saying he sucks or that he doesn't work hard... i'm just surmising that perhaps he's done a little bit of coasting from time to time when breaking his ass would have been the more prudent course of action... regardless, it would sure be sweet if the sox could get more than .258/6/33/.759 out of him, wouldn't it?

Rule No. 3 - look, the all-star break sucks... we don't have to deal with one in football, basketball's is a relief and really, who gives a shit about hockey? but in baseball, it's a huge bummer... baseball is the only sport that is played every single day, thus making the attachment/withdrawal factors for nerds like me infinitely higher (side note: this probably applies even more to fantasy baseball players - a group to which i belong - particularly the ones willing to buy a blackberry if for no other reason than to be able to check his team's stats anywhere, anytime, like my buddy scotty) ... and the counter programming - the home run derby, the all-star game, the best of remy and orsillo's giggle fits - just adds weight to the symptoms... by thursday afternoon, hours before the sox resume the schedule at fenway against the blue jays, i'll be practically gouging my eyes out to see some real baseball that actually means something (and no, the all-star game with it's ham handed, "this time it counts," slogan, is not real)... anyway, it would be a waste of time for me to call for the elimination of the all-star break... so i guess there's no rule here really - just pray that i and those of my ilk make it through the next couple of days in one piece...

Rule No. 4 - today is July 9... patriots training camp starts july 27... i'm not a math major or anything like that, but i think that means that in 18 days it will - at least sort of - be football season... football season - HALLELUJAH.

Rule No. 5 - anyone read anything into the photo above? it's pretty simple, actually - papi is the man...

big papi is good - a rules to live by exclusive

so a buddy of mine whose opinion i value greatly has been reading the rules of late (at least someone is) and claims that i have a tendency to focus too much on the negative... this occurred to me as i sat down to write about david ortiz, his current slump and why it could irreparably harm the team if he doesn't get out of it soon... so instead of write what everyone who has watched a sox game in the last month or so already knows, i will instead take a different route...

i'll be an optimist instead... please forgive me if whatever follows is cut off abruptly at some point - it's just my head exploding...

watching the highlights of the fourth of july matinée against the devil rays with my dad and brother during the annual family cookout, an interesting point was made... after the clip of big papi's first inning strikeout, a K as ugly as it gets, given the end result (the bat flying into the 25th row, likely knocking out the teeth of a card-carrying, pink hat-wearing member of red sox nation) and the pitcher (the immortal edwin jackson, he of the 1-9 record and the 7.26 ERA), the old man said, "man does he look bad right now - he looks like lugo..." having been roughly 75 yards away from papi when this happened, i'm here to report that yes, he looks really bad right now, and no, he doesn't look like lugo (who, by the way, may be on the verge of actually doing something quasi-productive at the plate)...

but the metaphor is well taken... sure, papi is hitting .307 (as opposed to lugo's .192 - still 14 points higher than doug mirabelli, thank god)... but there are connections to be made... lugo was stuck in an 0-for-33 until tuesday and had gone an ungodly 19 days without a hit... big papi has not had an extra base hit in 55 at-bats, a stunning statistic which, relatively speaking, is somewhat similar to lugo's plight... ortiz also has not homered since june 20, a span of 12 games, and has not homered at fenway, his personal house of badass, since - deep breath now - april 21... april 21!!! that's 31 home games!!! having seen what ortiz has done for the past four years, such numbers are borderline incomprehensible...

now remember, this is the column where i officially offer my services as an optimist... bearing that in mind, i can state in all certainty that i'm not the least bit worried...

here's the thing - the guy very well may be hurt... when you are as good a hitter as big papi, you don't go as cold as he has in the power department because you miss your old hitting coach... something was wrong with his hamstring back in late may, he missed a couple of games and when he came back, with the exception of two games against the yankees at fenway and a huge night out in oakland, he became the world's biggest singles hitter... maybe he rushed back from the hamstring thing too soon... maybe he needed to go on the dl back then but would probably have to be in traction somewhere to agree to such a move... and maybe he hasn't been right since... a power hitter like papi gets much of what he needs to belt monster home runs from from his legs... you got bad hammys, quads, ankles, what have you, your power just isn't there like it is when you're 100 percent healthy...

so what's positive about this? the fact that the team can afford to let him rest a bit if for no other reason than to see if his health is indeed the issue... in case you've been asleep the past two and a half months, we're now halfway through the season, and the sox have a double digit lead in the AL east... this lead has been built while a) manny has been having the weakest statistical season he's had in a decade, b) curt schilling has been mostly ineffective/injured, c) julian tavarez has held down a regular spot in the rotation, d) no one in the bullpen not named okajima or papelbon has been consistently reliable, e) the team's two marquee free agent acquisitions have ranged from mediocre to atrocious and f) ortiz has, well, not been big papi...

are there any better reasons for optimism right now than those? the red sox are leading a charmed life and while the cynic in me has been bracing for all of these flaws to catch up with them, at the halfway mark of the year, it just doesn't look like its going to happen... schilling goes on the dl? team doesn't miss a beat... manny looks like any other guy? team doesn't miss a beat... lugo threatens to take futility to new highs/lows? team doesn't miss a beat... ortiz slumps as bad as we've ever seen him slump? so far, with a couple of minor hiccups, team doesn't miss a beat... so give him some rest then, perhaps? i'm not suggesting he get benched - far from it... as of right now, there are four games left before the all-star break... does he really need to play in all four of them? give him tonight and one of the games in detroit over the weekend off... ask/encourage him to not play in the all-star game next week (it's not like the sox won't be well represented without him)... maybe even squeeze him into an MRI machine over the break and get a true read on whether the legs are really the problem... the point is, that so much good fortune has shined on the red sox that they have the luxury of being cautious with big papi, as they've been with schilling and, to a slightly lesser degree, papelbon... they can afford to take a bit of time and see if they can get to the root of the problem... there's three months and 79 games left until the postseason, and as we all know, that's when papi kicks the most ass - when the games really mean something...

or maybe he'll see something while watching video before tonight's game, go out and go 4-for-5 with a homer and six rbi, not miss any time and wind up finishing .320-37-110 while leading the sox to the best record in baseball and their first AL east title since 1995... would you be surprised? i wouldn't...

rules of the week

tardy on this week's rules - it's been a rather shitty week to say the least... anyway, if you're reading, it's probably tough enough for me to get you to even care about what i'm writing let alone how my week was... so without further ado, here are the rules of the week...

Rule No. 1 - i don't know, i just don't... ray allen coming off major ankle surgery? i mean, he's been a star, a great one - but is he the answer? i kind of hope there's something more afoot... anyway, these two guys look pretty happy, don't they? maybe they know something i don't... well, danny and doc - here's my faith, please don't stomp all over it... man i'm getting nervous and breaking out in the sweats and not because it's 137 degrees outside... ok, i can't think of a rule - time to move on...

Rule No. 2 - julio lugo, the 4-year, $36 million shortstop for the boston red sox, has the worst batting average (.190) of any regular player in all of major league baseball... he has no hits since june 14, when he was 1-for-4 against colorado... he was allowed to bat for himself in a huge, possibly game-winning situation in the eighth inning against seattle last week, and naturally didn't get a hit despite being ahead in the count 3-0, then had the temerity to throw a tantrum when he was pinch hit for in another big spot in the 11th... oh, and after being inserted as a pinch runner at second - representing the tying run - with two outs in the eighth and kevin youkilis at the plate against texas on saturday, he was thrown out trying to steal third, ending the inning... having been a die hard red sox fan since the age of about 4, i've seen more slumps and more free agent/trade busts than i can count... i am also prone to hyperbole, as many who know me will attest... bearing all that in mind, i don't think i've ever seen a player in a bigger slump, and unless things turn around dramatically for lugo and fast, i don't think i've ever seen a bigger free agent bust... everyone knows that this all could have been avoided if the sox had just re-signed the lovable, indispensable orlando cabrera after the world series in 2004 (cabrera wanted to stay and could have been had for less than what lugo is being paid), but that's old news... what's not old news is that lugo, who now seems to be in a platoon with alex cora at short, has to play if he's to have any chance of breaking out of this... and that, given what we've seen so far, is a very risky proposition as the season progresses, the games get more important and the pressure mounts... not sure what the rule is here, maybe that theo epstien should be forbidden from signing/letting go of shortstops?...

note: by the way, the headline of a fantasy baseball column on si.com read, "is it time to drop lugo?"... i hereby nominate everyone in my league, my mom, and the cleaning crew at the applebee's on hancock st. in quincy to take over the writing duties from this brain surgeon - it was time three weeks ago, dude!...

Rule No. 3 - a real bummer that youkilis didn't make the all-star team... five sox did make it, all deserved it (except manny) and another, hideki okajima, is nominated for the internet vote final spot on the roster... but who on the sox, other than beckett and papelbon, is more deserving than youk? the guy was arguably the most important factor in the sox' play during april and may while they were building their double digit lead in the AL east... his numbers (.326/9/43/.918) are excellent... he just set a red sox record for most consecutive errorless games at first base... he's hit pretty much everywhere in the lineup, he's always busting it and he has gigantic balls for knowingly wearing that goatee on his face... youk is one of this year's victims of the all-star selection system, which requires that every team, even the shittiest ones, have to have at least one guy on the squad, like it's a kickball game in gym class or something... it also hurts him that with the game in a national league park, david ortiz (a mortal lock) was on the ballot as a first baseman and not him... and maybe he'll wind up making it anyway as a fill-in (lord knows they'll need to find one for manny)... but he should have been there right off the bat... youk's an all-star, ya'll...


Rule No. 4 - there's tons of humor sites that should be perused pretty much daily and my new favorite is cracked.com... the specialty seems to be lists which gives readers the chance to check out topics like this and like this... it really is worth a shot - but remember, whether you dig it or not, the real goods can always be found here... enjoy 'em all, lads and lasses!...