o fortune, how you mock me...

ok, i'm back from a work-related swamping and i have a lot on my mind... apologies in advance to my buddy sheriff for the fact that there could be a lot more negatory here than not... and by the way, isn't that headline classic?

- has anyone seen manny? when he's not playing a really deep shortstop at fenway, he's holding up the entire red sox offense... i'm aware of the fact that he's been hot lately and is showing signs of being the manny we all know and love with the way he's been crushing line drives the other way lately... still, he's not close to on pace for his usual .310/35/110-type season - in fact it looks like he won't get close... and for all the debate about why the sox are having so much trouble scoring runs lately and why they've been so piss-poor in one-run games, the answer is pretty simple: it's manny, who, as estimable globe baseball writer gordon edes pointed out recently, has a lower OPS than dustin pedroia... yes, the facts that j.d. drew and julio lugo have both been awful (though lugo finally has started to do something), that it took coco two months to get going and that big papi has a torn meniscus are all important, palpable reasons for the mediocre offensive numbers since june 1, the fact that manny is having a similar season to guys like jose guillen or jacque jones is key to understanding the conundrum... when manny doesn't hit, ortiz gets pitched around and that sets off a chain reaction throughout the whole lineup... the bottom line is, if manny doesn't start being manny, the offensive struggles are going to continue and that will only put more pressure on a pitching staff that has looked far more mortal in recent weeks... not that i'm worried or anything...

- by the way, i heard my buddy from last week on the radio again today - you know, the one who knows all the "baseball people," who "laugh" at francona for not using the same lineup every day? he naturally took the sky-is-falling approach to the fact that the sox got crushed by the kansas city boils last night while the yankees were winning again and subsequently cutting the division lead to eight games by saying something like that if the sox lose three of four to the white sox this weekend and the yankees keep winning, it will be a full-on pennant race, yet screaming bloody murder whenever the poor hosts tried to tell him that things could just as easily go in the opposite direction... i don't like sportsradio nearly as much as i used to, mostly because i'm older and the sound of grown men screaming at each other hurts my ears... but it's guys like my loud-mouthed pal from today and last week who keep me coming back for more... don't underestimate the power of pure, unadulterated stupidity to provide a good, hearty laugh...

- as we close in on patriots training camp, there seems to be some sentiment that the team not signing asante samuel to a long-term deal and the possibility that he may hold out in response is a catastrophic thing... well, folks, i'm here to bring you in off the ledge... it's not that big a deal... first of all, he's not going to hold out a) because he's not dumb enough to leave $7.8 million guaranteed on the table, b) because he will leave himself more vulnerable to injury which could crush his chances to get a mega-contract from anyone next year and c) because he has to know that if he plays and plays even close to as well as he played last year for a team that could very well win another super bowl, he will increase his chances of cashing in down the road... there's a guy at a certain bar i've been known to frequent who loves to have me educate him about the pats and recently he was telling me that it would be a huge mistake for the team to not sign samuel for whatever he wants and that not having him next year would be a huge blow... this is so wrong for so many reasons that i don't know where to start... first off, in the brady/belichick era, the team has given in to exactly two, count 'em, two guys - brady and richard seymour... they don't pay anyone, ever, and all it has gotten them is three titles, two other playoff appearances and a league-wide reputation as a top-notch, one-of-a-kind organization... remember three years ago when samuel was a rookie and he and randall gay were the starting corners with troy brown their chief backup? well, they won the super bowl that year and that was with a team that was not nearly as stacked from a talent perspective as this team would appear to be... not having samuel would be a bummer but does anyone who has watched the team at all for the past six years really think it would be a season-breaker? remember last year when they wouldn't pay deion branch and their top two receivers were bug-eye caldwell and jabar gaffney (who they signed off the street halfway through the year)? well, they missed going to another super bowl by 2 minutes with that crew... as long as brady and seymour (to a much lesser extent) are there, everything will be fine, with or without samuel, branch, willie mcginest, damien woody, lawyer milloy, ty law, or anyone else they've said goodbye to as opposed to paying them like stars... the quarterback and the team are the stars in foxboro and it's worked out just great thus far...

- there's probably a lot to be written/said about the michael vick story, but i'm not interested in any of it - a person so despicable doesn't deserve my time or yours... if he's proven innocent, i will gladly take back such a damning statement, but until then, he's officially entered the pantheon of biggest douchebags in sports... at least we won't have to read/listen to all the suckups rave about how he's one of the greatest players in the history of the nfl just because he can run fast and throw a ball 80 yards in the air while standing still with no one near him... before yesterday's indictment, he was simply the most overrated player in the league... now he's the most disgusting, overrated player in the league...

-the british open starts tomorrow for all you golf fans out there... it's the least accessible of the majors because it's on tv at the break of dawn and because there just aren't a lot of courses in this country where the average duffer (like me) can experience the kind of hideous conditions they routinely get on the scottish coast... but that's what makes it so cool as well... watching someone like tiger woods try to conquer 40 mile per hour wind gusts, rain falling sideways, pot bunkers, mounds of gorse and even english cuisine (not remotely joking about that last one - ever had a meal in the u.k.?) is watching him in the most hostile of hostile environments... major golf tournaments always wind up being a mind game - whoever has the mental wherewithal to persevere is likely going to beat whoever does not (hello, lefty!)... so when you add the kind of elements that a place like st. andrews, royal lytham or this week's site, carnoustie, offer up, it appears that much more difficult... i can't wait to watch - and by the way, i got tiger over the field...

- it was somewhat eye-opening to read this story about yao ming and how the chinese government is ripping him for not being at national team practice because he had the temerity to get married and visit a bunch of special olympics kids... made me feel pretty good about where i am... but then i saw this and remembered that while we don't have it that bad, it's getting worse every day - and it's not even war-related... it's all about the cash money, right bushy?

- loving the new records by interpol and spoon... interpol, a band i've always liked, but thought took themselves way too seriously, have really lightened up on their new one, "our love to admire"... takes a couple songs to get going but by the fourth and fifth tracks, "the heinrich maneuver," and "mammoth," they're rocking out and sound more like they're just having fun being rock stars and less like they have to convey some deep, emotional need to anyone... spoon is just spoon, making their way through your basic rock/rootsy/alt-country stuff with a lot of whimsy and bells and whistles on the unfortunately titled "ga ga ga ga ga"... i was recently accused of forgetting from whence i came given my aversion to buying the new records from (the artist formerly known as) chris cornell and smashing pumpkins... on the contrary - i remember whole-heartedly from whence i came given the fact that i still routinely listen to the great stuff those guys recorded when they were meaningful and interesting and not so played out and old... i've not forgotten anything, i just think i've adapted to the times and the two records i just mentioned are prime examples of that...

- good to see the old, shitty julian tavarez back - gotta love that he can't hold a two-run lead against the boils... luckily kason gabbard is on his way to the hall of fame so that should solve that problem...

- golfing in the morning - ah, heaven awaits...