we'll get it fixed, honey... it's on my list of things - right after we get TiVo...

just got done listening to some balding, stuttering, blithering idiot on espn discussing how the pats are done because their defense was lousy before the bye, how bruschi's return will mean nothing either emotionally or on the field, how they won't even make the playoffs let alone win a game and how peyton manning is god...

don't these douchebags ever learn??

fine, i'll admit for all the constant naysayers out there that things still look less than perfect despite all the things the pats have going for them this week... how do we know how effective/helpful bruschi will be? is corey dillon going to pick it up? will their totally depleted secondary be able to stop anyone's passing game? all this shit is up in the air and the pats aren't close to the sure thing they've been the last two years (hell, one more loss and they'll match their total since 2003 coming into this year)... but to just assume that they are finished at 3-3, tied for first and with the iron of their schedule behind them is ignorant...

on a couple other topics, gotta give props to the white sox for being this year's version of the red sox... they just got every break (and it helped them immensely that houston left 437 runners on base in the four games)... gotta hate on former 2,000 yard rusher jamal lewis, who spent the offseason in prison for his part in a drug deal and now has been quoted as essentially saying he isn't giving his all because he's in the last year of his contract... look, the ravens suck anyway, but what do you think if you're the coach or the management or a teammate? what a team guy... also, that guy todd bertuzzi, the vancouver hockey player who maimed that poor kid from the avalanche a couple years ago and was punished with a 10-game suspension or something not even remotely appropriate given what he did, played in his first game last night... if i was this guy, not only would i donate like $1 million to the avalanche player's favorite charity, i'd kiss the ice every time i played or practiced forever given the fact that i should have gotten 10 years for assault... seriously, i can't even look at this guy, even though i'm suddenly enjoying hockey (except the bruins, of course) for the first time in a long time... i wonder why?

i think i'm gonna be a waiter for halloween... hope you all don't get too wasted or have too much of a tummyache from eating too many twix bars... and, it appears i'll be at the big bruschi return game sunday night in foxboro - thus, as your faithful servant, i'll have a full report on the experience and the sight of #54 back on the field coming early next week... now, on to the picks... oh joy...

NEW ENGLAND (-9) over buffalo
all the reasons why the pats will romp (bruschi, seymour, dillon all back, coming off a bye, brady owns the bills who stink, etc.) outweigh any reasons why the bills could win... feel bad for buffalo, even while you're looking for a spoon to dig your eyeballs out with due to having to listen to joe theismann and paul maguire call the game on espn...

NEW YORK GIANTS (+2.5) over washington
giants found something in that comeback over denver last week that not many teams have and that's a special qb... eli manning is the goods, painful as it is to say... i'll bet he wins more titles than his brother too... and this week, the giants may be playing a tough division game against a great defense, but the emotion due to the loss of their longtime owner during the week combined with all this newfound swagger will carry them...

CINCINNATI (-9) over green bay
anyone think brett favre wishes he'd just called it a career after the pack got routed by (gulp) the vikings at home in the playoffs last year? i'll bet he does, especially now that he's down to third-stringers at back and receiver... benagls bounce back from bad loss to steelers and crush green bay...

chicago (+3) over DETROIT
two teams playing for first place in the division and both are at .500... yullchh... lions are better with jeff garcia at qb and are at home but they still pretty much stink (they barely beat awful cleveland last week)... the bears run the ball down your throat and have an awesome d...

CAROLINA (-7.5) over minnesota
i'm surprised the vikings didn't celebrate their last second win last week with a boat trip with a bunch of drugs and hookers... they may need another restful, relaxing pleasure cruise after they get routed by jake delhomme, steve smith and the panthers...

TENNESSEE (+1) over oakland
i may have been wrong about kerry collins, norv turner and the raiders last week, but really, who wants to take them two straight weeks, especially with this game on the road?... the titans aren't even that good but the raiders are such an embarassment, i wouldn't be surprised to see them think all they have to do is show up and subsequently lose by 30...

arizona (+9) over DALLAS
cowboys still can't put anyone away and drew bledsoe still is just as likely to piss a game away as win it, both evidenced last week in the loss to seattle... but arizona really stinks and the game is in big d, so the cowboys should hold on even though it'll be close...

cleveland (+2) over HOUSTON
the texans are winless and the favorites... truly unbelievable, even against the lousy browns at home... houston has to win someday, but not this week in the worst game of the season so far... they will top the astros entire output in the four games of the world series, though...

NEW ORLEANS (-2.5) over miami
saints sort of closer to home, playing this game in baton rouge... they are truly horrible and get no breaks, ever, which isn't a recipe for winning very much... but miami is getting worse and gus frerotte may be the worst quarterback in the nfl (11-25 for 127 with two picks and benched last week against the awful chiefs defense at home)... saints win, but don't get on their bandwagon or anything...

JACKSONVILLE (-3) over st. louis
you may be wondering why i'm picking against the rams at home after coming back to win from 17-0 down last week... because it was against the saints, that's why... jacksonville has a good defense and is likely going to the playoffs while st. louis will be missing its qb and two top receivers and also bans its hospital bed-ridden coach from calling the locker room at halftime... take the jags...

kansas city (+6) over SAN DIEGO
chargers are 3-4 and could be 7-0 if they knew how to finish games... that goes directly to the coach, marty schottenheimer, who has proven beyond the shadow of a doubt over his last 20 years of coaching that no one is better at blowing games that should be won... that said, the chiefs don't have enough defense to stop all of the chargers' weapons and the home team (which will likely be done with another loss, especially in the division) will squeak it out...

SAN FRANCISCO (+11) over tampa bay
this one's tough because the niners gave up 264 points last week and are starting their third qb of the year in this game... but the bucs, while good, are starting a virtual rookie at qb themselves and are on the road... they win, but not without a fight from san fran...

DENVER (-3.5) over philadelphia
the broncos are kicking themselves about blowing it against the giants last week... the eagles are as lucky as it gets as they should have lost to the chargers but won on that blocked field goal... look, the game's in denver, the eagles refuse to run the ball even a little and have division games the next three weeks... not sure donovan mcnabb will be able to hold up throwing on every play in this one...

PITTSBURGH (-10) over baltimore
as if the ravens weren't bad enough with no qb and a running back who admittedly dogs it, now their two best defensive players are out and thy're on the road... this one could get ugly and fast...

last week: 4-9-1
season: 22-32-2